ShoobieRat
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Oh...you started this thread? Huh...I'd forgotten.
Jokes
- Thread starter DEATH-INCARNATE
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Oh...you started this thread? Huh...I'd forgotten.
Tuxthepenguin
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A burglar breaks into a house goes to the TV puts the VCR in his bag and a voice says"Jesus will get you for this". The thief spins around but there is no one there. He continues into the kitchen and puts some expensive silverware into his bag and again a voice says "Jesus will get you for this". Again the thief spins around but there is no one there. The thief heads upstairs and into the master bedroom and begins to take some expensive jewlery when he hears the voice again "Jesus will get you for this". he spins around and sees a parrot perched on its stand. The thief laughs and says "The whole time it was just a stupid bird".
"I'm no ordinary bird, I'm a Norwegian Blue parrot named Moses" said the parrot
"What kind of idiot names a bird Moses?"asks the thief
To which the parrot replies "The same idiot that named the Rotweiler Jesus".
"I'm no ordinary bird, I'm a Norwegian Blue parrot named Moses" said the parrot
"What kind of idiot names a bird Moses?"asks the thief
To which the parrot replies "The same idiot that named the Rotweiler Jesus".
Tuxthepenguin
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A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."
The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"
The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"
The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
Shumway
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Hey Tux you might want to clean that last one up because we have lot's of younger people on here.
Thank's
Thank's
Tuxthepenguin
Baseband Member
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- 35
Meh, just deleted it =\
DEATH-INCARNATE
In Runtime
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here is my joke lets see if you get it. (ie : south african joke).
there are 3 china men. and they go into the game reserve to go hunting.
the 1st on goes for his hunting trip and comes back. his friends ask hime what he caught. he says 3 elephants, 2 warthogs and one rhino.
and his friends are quite impressed.
the 2st on goes for his hunting trip and comes back. his friends ask hime what he caught. he says 1 elephants, 1 warthogs and 5 springboks.
and his friends are quite impressed.
the 3st on goes for his hunting trip and comes back. his friends ask hime what he caught. he says 1 elephants, 1 warthogs and 3 "whow bass"
his friends are quite puzzeled. so they ask him what is a "whow bass".
so he says i dont know but when i point my gun at it runs away shouting "whow bass".
(NOTE: you will really only understand this if you have been to south africa or if you are a south african).
there are 3 china men. and they go into the game reserve to go hunting.
the 1st on goes for his hunting trip and comes back. his friends ask hime what he caught. he says 3 elephants, 2 warthogs and one rhino.
and his friends are quite impressed.
the 2st on goes for his hunting trip and comes back. his friends ask hime what he caught. he says 1 elephants, 1 warthogs and 5 springboks.
and his friends are quite impressed.
the 3st on goes for his hunting trip and comes back. his friends ask hime what he caught. he says 1 elephants, 1 warthogs and 3 "whow bass"
his friends are quite puzzeled. so they ask him what is a "whow bass".
so he says i dont know but when i point my gun at it runs away shouting "whow bass".
(NOTE: you will really only understand this if you have been to south africa or if you are a south african).
ATIRAGEPRO
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"You's a big lady when you BackDat@$$up!!..."
Dose that mean that he Killed somone? LOL
Dose that mean that he Killed somone? LOL
ShoobieRat
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Yeah, that was pretty lame.
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A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are running from the police after escaping from prison.
They run into a forest and stop.
The brunette turns and says to the others, "Hey, each of you climb a tree. If the cops come to your tree, just make animal sounds and they'll leave."
They say okay and run off to find a tree to climb.
Brunette hears the cops coming and climbs up a tree. The cops hear rustling and run up to the tree.
"Hey! Who's there!" they shout.
Brunette puts her hands to her mouth and starts hooting like an owl. "Hoot Hoot!"
Police scratch their heads and shrug, "Damn, just an owl. Let's go."
Redhead hears the cops coming and climbs up her tree. Cops come to the tree and yell up, "Hey! Who's there?!"
Readhead tweets like a bird, "Tweet tweet!"
"Ah, it's just a bird," the cops sigh, running on.
Blonde hears the cops coming and climbs up her tree. Cops hear the rustling and rush over, yelling up, "Hey! Who's there?!"
Blonde cups her hands to her mouth and goes "Moo! Moo!"
---------------------------
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are running from the police after escaping from prison.
They run into a forest and stop.
The brunette turns and says to the others, "Hey, each of you climb a tree. If the cops come to your tree, just make animal sounds and they'll leave."
They say okay and run off to find a tree to climb.
Brunette hears the cops coming and climbs up a tree. The cops hear rustling and run up to the tree.
"Hey! Who's there!" they shout.
Brunette puts her hands to her mouth and starts hooting like an owl. "Hoot Hoot!"
Police scratch their heads and shrug, "Damn, just an owl. Let's go."
Redhead hears the cops coming and climbs up her tree. Cops come to the tree and yell up, "Hey! Who's there?!"
Readhead tweets like a bird, "Tweet tweet!"
"Ah, it's just a bird," the cops sigh, running on.
Blonde hears the cops coming and climbs up her tree. Cops hear the rustling and rush over, yelling up, "Hey! Who's there?!"
Blonde cups her hands to her mouth and goes "Moo! Moo!"
TheMajor
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