1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip".
3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds
of Fun or Six
Flags.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they
were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For
example, "Well,
Webb City's only 20 minutes away."
6. Down south to you means Arkansas.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only
means one thing.
8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. You know what "Party Cove" is.
12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
13. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What
High School did you
go to?"
14. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day.
15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store
with no one in it,
no matter what time of the year.
19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in
football.
20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example: "Where's my coat at?"
21. All the festivals across the state are named after a
fruit, vegetable,
or grain.
22. You install security lights on your house and garage
and leave both
unlocked.
23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork,
beer, and Jell-O
salad with marshmallows.
24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that
everyone else should.
25. You went to skating parties as a kid.
26. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
27. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.
28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel
nightie.
29. The local paper covers national and international
headlines on one page,
but requires six pages for sports.
30. You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced "farty-far."
(St.Louis only.)
31. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they
want to go
to KU.
32. You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City
and Columbia, and
Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and
the Warrenton
Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
34. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the
porch in the
middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
36. You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
37. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still
Summer and
Football.
38. You know if another Missourian is from the Boot-heel,
Ozarks, Eastern,
Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
39. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark
Twain are all from
Missouri.
40. You failed World Geography in school because you
thought Cuba,
Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana,
Springfield, and
Mexico were cities in Missouri. [they are]
41. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor.
2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip".
3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds
of Fun or Six
Flags.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they
were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For
example, "Well,
Webb City's only 20 minutes away."
6. Down south to you means Arkansas.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only
means one thing.
8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11. You know what "Party Cove" is.
12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
13. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What
High School did you
go to?"
14. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day.
15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store
with no one in it,
no matter what time of the year.
19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in
football.
20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example: "Where's my coat at?"
21. All the festivals across the state are named after a
fruit, vegetable,
or grain.
22. You install security lights on your house and garage
and leave both
unlocked.
23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork,
beer, and Jell-O
salad with marshmallows.
24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that
everyone else should.
25. You went to skating parties as a kid.
26. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
27. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.
28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel
nightie.
29. The local paper covers national and international
headlines on one page,
but requires six pages for sports.
30. You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced "farty-far."
(St.Louis only.)
31. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they
want to go
to KU.
32. You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.
33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City
and Columbia, and
Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and
the Warrenton
Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
34. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the
porch in the
middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
36. You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
37. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still
Summer and
Football.
38. You know if another Missourian is from the Boot-heel,
Ozarks, Eastern,
Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
39. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark
Twain are all from
Missouri.
40. You failed World Geography in school because you
thought Cuba,
Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana,
Springfield, and
Mexico were cities in Missouri. [they are]
41. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor.
