The solution sounds insane, but actually makes sense. Several old Dell boxes reserve the x1 slot for specific functions. Usually sound related. It works in video mode right up to the plug and play check, then the system tries to associate it with a sound card. Doesn't help that it is somewhat of a sound card as well since it can push sound out the HDMI slot.
Unplugging the card while the system is trying to auto-select it as a sound card forces the system to actually look at the card. This lets you actually set it as a video device and install drivers.
I figured this out when my Dell actually recognized the card as a sound device, then crashed. Pulling the card isn't as horrible as one might think. At worse, you will ruin the card and possibly the Mobo. I can't imagine anything short of trying to eat the power supply while standing in a pool of water actually killing you.
Usually, a bad touch will just make the computer reset and give you a tickily feeling, just don't apply this logic to any of the larger capacitors in larger appliances and you should live a whole and wonderful life.