GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! IT ISN'T THE RAM! IT IS THE FRICKING MOBO!
So I changed out the one stick with the other and it works fine too! So it turns out that two slots on my mobo have gone bad, wtf? How does that happen?
The slots are the two closest to the cpu.
I am updating the bios to see if it resolves the issue. Cross your fingers everyone!