Need some girl advice (NOT NORCENT)

[Ronnie]

well depends if she is telling the truth, i know girls that dont have any free time for the most part after work and school. but if shes just playing with your head then go find someone else.

 

[krazyq]

well depends if she is telling the truth, i know girls that dont have any free time for the most part after work and school. but if shes just playing with your head then go find someone else.

for some reason i do trust her...
but this msg is showin that shes not tryn to get rid of me...i think
wierd part is that i though i'd be the busy one.
She did tell me about her past guys of how they've used her and left her and cheated on her...so maybe thats why she wants to go slow???

wat should i say back? i mean im off today and tomrrow then back on duty for 4 days and off again for only 2...

 

[Jorsoft]

Just tell her when your free and let her come to you. Don't keep chasing her, just leave it at that.

 

[krazyq]

Just tell her when your free and let her come to you. Don't keep chasing her, just leave it at that.

well i think i got the upper hand now...

she knew i was online but i didnt reply...and she sent me another msg saying ??? hello are you there? did you get my message?

i just replied back sayin, yeah...wat do you want?

and ure right jor, i cant offer her the plate with food on it...

ill see wat she says when she gets back from work and tell her my days off and then i'll see wat happens.
Or should i just tell her i dont got time to wait? ...idc if she rejects me...

so that could work both ways....???

 

[KSoD]

Plain and simple the fact is in the numbers. How many serious relationships have you seen go anywhere with someone that is 17? Look at the stats. Even if you do end up together and get married chances are that it will end badly cause that is just the stats.

Not trying to say that it will happen to you but I think that what 75% or so of relationships that start that young end up bad? Something outrageous.

She is still young. She will always wonder what could have been. You never know what may happen during her school year. She may find someone she likes and can actually spend more time with cause they are at school with her.

She could play that game with you. Spend all the time with him during the week and time with you on the weekends. If she doesnt go to a party or something with her school friends.

I was in a relationship like that myself. I was 20 and she was 17. I worked full time. IT was fine during the school year. I would get out of work and go see her. The weekends we spent all the time in the world together. But once summer came and i couldnt go out during the day cause i was working she went off with her friends to do whatever.

Things got worse from there. She started to call me constantly at work. ASking me to leave early, to call in sick. All sorts of things. But she loved that i had money to spent at times. But once i missed a day or 2 of work and didnt have as much money she was upset cause we couldnt do the thigns she wanted cause i didnt have the money.

It still got worse after that. I found out from other friends of hers that she was spending a lot of alone time with another guy while i was at work This was at the time when she stopped calling me so much during the day.

Come to find out she was cheating on me with him while i was at work and had him go home when i got out so she could be with me. I left her after i found out. Luckily it was only a few days it took me to find out what was going on.

I would just hate to see something like that happen to you. Girls may be more mature, but they can also be very devilish when they want to be to get what they want no matter what feelings may get hurt. I would hate to see you end up like i did.

 

[krazyq]

Plain and simple the fact is in the numbers. How many serious relationships have you seen go anywhere with someone that is 17? Look at the stats. Even if you do end up together and get married chances are that it will end badly cause that is just the stats.


I would just hate to see something like that happen to you. Girls may be more mature, but they can also be very devilish when they want to be to get what they want no matter what feelings may get hurt. I would hate to see you end up like i did.

Hey mak, thanks for whatever you said, i understand everything you said and im really sorry to hear wahat happened to you.
I honestly don't want anything serious since i just got out of a serious relationship. I did start dating my ex when we were both 17 so i know what to expect thats why i dont wanna get serious and married for a while.

I do see the problem of me never being home, she does have a lot of guy friends too so i see the cheating there too...but honestly my ex F***ed me up enough and i know i can't be hurt anymore that bad.
I see the games and all and how she wants to take this slow..
her previous ex of 3 years use to abuse the crap out of her so idk if thats the reason she wants to slow things out...

Now what if i told you i still wanna check this girl and see how it goes...even after all the red flags, what would you suggest i say or do next?

 

[KSoD]

I would say stand your ground. You have tried. You have gone after her to try and make things happen. Now it is her turn. If she really does want something to happen with you, no matter what it is, i say let her make the next move.

If you keep pressing and pressing she will see that you are getting desperate and that is never good. What you did with the IM was great. You didnt show desperation, you didnt show interest. You let things happen. Which is what you have to do.

I think she is feeling a bit pressured by you constantly trying to spend time with her and talk with her and all that. Give her a bit of space. Let her make the advancement next and let her suggest the next time you guys get together. If she does. If rougly a week goes by, by next weekend for sure, if she doesnt suggest getting together you say something.

Red flags are not always a bad thing. If they were i would have never meet or started to date the woman who is now my wife. You just have to evaluate the risk versus reward.

I was bothered by what happened to me. But i got over it. It may have taken a bit of time. But i moved on. Just as you will. You think that you cant get hurt but it will happen till you find that one that you truly love.

I know it sounds really sappy but the truth is if you really do love someone you will feel it with every bone in your body. You will go to great lengths to see and be with them.

Love is pain. Even to this day there are things that go on even with my wife that still hurt cause of some action or words. But you talk about it and get over it. When it comes to love there is no set standard or way to do things. There are some thigns like advice you can get from others like you are. But the truth is you have to do what is best for you. We can give advice from a 3rd person point of view. But in all honesty without it happening to any of us we cant give you the advice you should follow.

Only you know what you feel. You can try to express them in words but there isnt enough words out there to express everything that you feel. Not to mention being in a open, public forum on the internet is not the best place to say these things.

So really you have to sit back and really think about what you want out of this and how you feel. Do you want to honestly continue this? Are you doing this cause you cant stand the thought of being alone? Is this a rebound relationship? Do you want to chance it that you end up falling in love with her only to end up like i did? Is it worth it to you to try and see?

Now not all this has to be answered in the open. I am more than willing to chat with you via MSN about this stuff if you dont want it out in the open if you wish. I have no issue with that. But again i can only give you advice on what i have gone thru and experienced and how i dealt with it. I cant give you good advice on something that I, myself am not going thru.

 

[Baez]

Love is pain. Even to this day there are things that go on even with my wife that still hurt cause of some action or words. But you talk about it and get over it. When it comes to love there is no set standard or way to do things. There are some thigns like advice you can get from others like you are. But the truth is you have to do what is best for you. We can give advice from a 3rd person point of view. But in all honesty without it happening to any of us we cant give you the advice you should follow.

Only you know what you feel. You can try to express them in words but there isnt enough words out there to express everything that you feel. Not to mention being in a open, public forum on the internet is not the best place to say these things.

So really you have to sit back and really think about what you want out of this and how you feel. Do you want to honestly continue this? Are you doing this cause you cant stand the thought of being alone? Is this a rebound relationship? Do you want to chance it that you end up falling in love with her only to end up like i did? Is it worth it to you to try and see?

That's deep... and very true. I went through the ups and downs and thought about all of that and more when I decided to break my 6 year relationship with my ex.

 

[NosBoost300]

man mak, that one was straight from the heart, and i know what you mean... i've been through tons of ups and downs.. too many in the short 9 months i've been with my woman....

and right now is a huge down lol... nothing i can't get over though... not that i was cheated or anything.. or did wrong...

 

[Preacher]

You dump her ! I kept on reading from where a stopped. Her mom threatened you and shes 17 WTF , anyways go out with 20 year old look better then us 17 year olds .