.:New Joke Thread:.

[Apokalipse]

A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie.

"I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch."

"What catch?" the man asked.

The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted."

"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.

"What is your first wish?" asked the genie.

"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"

POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.

"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?"

"I'd love a million dollars," replied the man.

POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie.

"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man.

"What is your third and final wish?"

The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney!"

 

[Apokalipse]

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer ... you're in the wrong place." So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators; the engineer soon becomes a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great! We've got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators! And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next!"

God exclaims: "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake! He should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan, standing his ground, challenges: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God replies threateningly: "Send him back up here or I'll sue!"

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right! And just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"

 

[becroydon]

ok, so theres a guy in a bar, really downing drinks getting very drunk, so by midnight, the bartender says to the guy, "hey you've had enough to drink, its time for you to leave", although by this time the guy is asleep on the table. So the bartender desides to remove him his self. So he picks the guy and puts him up on his feet, and lets go, the man falls to the floor instantly. So the bartender picks him up again, and takes him to his car, by this time the guy has awoken in a drunken daze. The bartender places him on his feet outside his cars and lets go of the drunk. Once again he falls to the floor hitting his head on the car door. The bartender ask the drunk where he lives and after some slured conversation the bartender realises the location the man live at. At this point the bartender decides he'd better drive this man home. When her arrives he lifts the man to his doorstep and lets go of him, once agian the man falls to the floor and hits his head on the door step. By this time with all the injuries the drunk had aquired the bartender decided not to take the blame and runs off into the night. Next morning the drunks wife opens the door t find her husband on the doorstep. "Wow, you must have got really drunk last night", as the man awakened hae replied "i did'nt have too many dear, honest", "Well you must have had alot because you forgot your wheelchair!"

 

[HardKore{Killa}]

ok, so theres a guy in a bar, really downing drinks getting very drunk, so by midnight, the bartender says to the guy, "hey you've had enough to drink, its time for you to leave", although by this time the guy is asleep on the table. So the bartender desides to remove him his self. So he picks the guy and puts him up on his feet, and lets go, the man falls to the floor instantly. So the bartender picks him up again, and takes him to his car, by this time the guy has awoken in a drunken daze. The bartender places him on his feet outside his cars and lets go of the drunk. Once again he falls to the floor hitting his head on the car door. The bartender ask the drunk where he lives and after some slured conversation the bartender realises the location the man live at. At this point the bartender decides he'd better drive this man home. When her arrives he lifts the man to his doorstep and lets go of him, once agian the man falls to the floor and hits his head on the door step. By this time with all the injuries the drunk had aquired the bartender decided not to take the blame and runs off into the night. Next morning the drunks wife opens the door t find her husband on the doorstep. "Wow, you must have got really drunk last night", as the man awakened hae replied "i did'nt have too many dear, honest", "Well you must have had alot because you forgot your wheelchair!"

i luv that joke lol thats my favorite jike now can i take that joke to show my friends its so funny where'd you here it. I'd like to know the genius who wrote that joke

 

[salve]

that's a good one apokalipse

 

[Apokalipse]

once, I obtained a copy of Windows ME

 

[anarchy]

Ok here's one:

There was this guy right, real lonely and sexually frusterated. So he finds a member with a girlish avatar and PM's him wanting to "chat".

Funny?

It's true.

 

[RyanOldw83]

Maybe the purple avatar with a little heart in it made him think you were a girl? JK buddy!







And no it was NOT me. Thanks.

 

[ADZ]

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD KEEP IT A SECRET!!!!!!!!!!





JK

I think the Forum Babe is what did it....what guy calls himself the 'forum babe'?

 

[anarchy]

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD KEEP IT A SECRET!!!!!!!!!!





JK

I think the Forum Babe is what did it....what guy calls himself the 'forum babe'?

You really wanna know what guy would call himself the forum babe? You guessed it pal, ME.