10 Signs your child is a hacker

[Shumway]

dude, you guys cant think this is serious.
maybe all of the time on the computer has affected your brains, as this fine parent stated.

Nobody's taking it seriously,We're all laughing at it,But before this went up on any humour site's it actually was floating around and whacko parent's were believing it

 

[PP Mguire]

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding.

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Teenagers like us realize AOL isnt worth **** and is worse than being hacked or installing spyware/adware yourself. AMD is based right here in Austin (at least on of their corporate offices) not Asia dumbass and Bonzi Buddy is meant for little kids, not hackers.

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school

No ****ing coment there.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

10. Is your son struggling academically?

If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically.

Called being a teenager and idk why this guy even brings up Linux for hacking. Another

 

[Nitestick]

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes.

up until there i would say we were talking about an EMO not a hacker. this has to be a joke unless this guy has paranoid schizophrenia from monitor radiation. regardless of whether or not some retarded parents believed this, it doesn't mean it wasn't intended as a joke.

edit: anyone in doubt as to whether this is a joke? i'm wondering since when was there a hacker on the brady bunch? look at the names: carol, peter, cindy. 6 children. ITS THE FREAKING BRADY FAMILY OF COURSE ITS A JOKE!!!

 

[furtivefelon]

look at the last line:

I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously.

i say if your child is hacking, it could also be a sign of genius in the making..

 

[mole1135]

Well guys accourding to this im an ultra hacker, cause i meet all of the criteria........ o my god wat do i do............lol

Oh and if your son is a hacker he isnt going to have any trouble getting around any parental controls you stick on there never the less some retarded aol content advisor.................lol

 

[FunkMaster66]

lol

 

[RockyZ]

April Fools...

 

[Deimos]

lol, anyways you cant be a "hacker" when the technology your playing with has existed before your lifetime, so a child born in the 90's can't be a technological hacker. the term hacker is overused and given a bad defenition. A hacher is simply one who loves technology. In that use of the word(the one I believe to be the correct use) every one on this forum is a hacker. dont give them a bad name, their not the idiots that robbed your paypal. those people call them selves hackers, but they are what you would call "poser", one who pretends to be something he's not. theifs are not hackers. dont be a poser.
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read the 2600, its the hacker quarterly. go to 2600.com, they have a very funny homepage. you can get the 2600 at some barns and nobles. its funny, the cashiers observe it, sometimes flip through, real fast before ringing it up.

 

[Nitestick]

by definition a hacker would be one who accesses files, software, hardware or any function that they do not have permissions to acces or can not access by normal means. a cracker is someone who does similarly except in the process damages data etc.

 

[Mr_Threepwood]

At my highschool they did a real talk about internet safety and it was so funny. A teacher asked where she should report porn sites that were found on google with the wrong keywords, lmao what a dumbass.

Also the presenter was saying how its terrible that parents dont have access to thier kids email and msn. Last time I checked that was the whole reason for a password you dumbshit. Only idiots try to sensor the internet. I say if a kid gets lured by a molester online then its half the kids fault for being a complete idiot. I just laughed my *** off at this story of some dumb 16 year old ***** going away for a year with some guy from a chatroom.