Nope, there is a little russian monkey. It was deemed the secret to the communist russian space success of the sixties by a joint venture between the Air Force, CIA, NSA, and the San Diego Zoo. A crack team of Vietnam war commandoes was sent into a top secret Russian research facility to extracate this primate and set them to work for us. We spent the 16 years before the launch of Voyeger 1 training this pre-homosapien ancestor to compare star charts that were recovered from the Alien crash near Roswell, New Mexico. When it (the monkey - a rhesus monkey to be specific, named Kettch) can positivly identify a celestial construct, it's training will kick in. It will type the message out on a special computer, which will then spit out paper. The monkey is then expected to wad the paper up and eat it. After 3 to 4 hours, depending on how many bananas Kettch ate that day, a wad is formed from his posterior end. Placing this packet of information encased in the protective layer that NASA scientists have called "D.U.N.G" or poo as a nickname into the air lock. The monkey is then to open the Air lock, launching this pile of poo out into space, on a direct trajectory with earth. The protective poo burns upon re-entry where the message is collected by a flock of sea gulls and delivered to Kennedy Space Center for analysis. Similar technology has been adopted for various other means of wireless communications.
