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PP Mguire

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Fort Worth, Texas
A lot of defence analysts expect them to make a move on Taiwan between 2024 and 27. It will be so, so bad.

Congrats man! I need to get me one of those.
I can tell you now with experience, that it is a lot better to have life experience and be a little older to have a baby. The difference between my first born 10 years ago and now is huge. I'm older and can handle the stresses of life a lot better without bringing that negative energy around my child.
 

kmanmx

Golden Master
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9,227
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Bonn, Deutschland
I can tell you now with experience, that it is a lot better to have life experience and be a little older to have a baby. The difference between my first born 10 years ago and now is huge. I'm older and can handle the stresses of life a lot better without bringing that negative energy around my child.

I’m 30 in two years, i’ve still got to find the lady and get my own place suitable for raising a kid. So it’s a good few years off at best. My main concern is I never wanted to do it and be broke. I always told myself i’d have a solid paying job before I got a kid. I want to easily afford everything they need and still buy the crap I want myself.
 

Smart_Guy

Fully Optimized
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4,786
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Saudi Arabia
I'm 39 and can't decide on getting tied up yet and have no such things as relationships before marriage (just a cultural thing, not judging). Marriage is an especially great responsibility on the husband here and I worry too much about others be it a wife or a child. Be it due to finance or personality. I fear being unfair to them. Let alone it will limit my free time to play game and watch cartoons, which are the least of my worries really but I had to mention it.
 

kmanmx

Golden Master
Messages
9,227
Location
Bonn, Deutschland
I'm 39 and can't decide on getting tied up yet and have no such things as relationships before marriage (just a cultural thing, not judging). Marriage is an especially great responsibility on the husband here and I worry too much about others be it a wife or a child. Be it due to finance or personality. I fear being unfair to them. Let alone it will limit my free time to play game and watch cartoons, which are the least of my worries really but I had to mention it.

You say its the least of your worries, but it's actually hard to break out of that habit of being able to do what you want whenever you want to. I've been single for 8 years now, and as much as I like the idea of having a wife and kids, I do also wonder how I would cope suddenly having to spend so much time doing stuff for other people. I'm so used to spending my time exactly how I want to spend it, and I love it. So i'm pretty hesitant to get back into a serious relationship with anyone. I think I will at some point in the next 5 years but parts of it do worry me a little.

In other news, the first new Macbook Pros since 2016 later today. Apparently MiniLED display, M1X with 16 or 32 core GPU. And even SD Card slots and MagSafe are due to return if the rumors are right. I'm excited to see them.
 

strollin

Knowitall!
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3,707
Location
N. Calif.
When I was young I planned to graduate college first, then get a good job before thinking about marriage and having kids. Plans didn't work out, ended up falling in love and getting married at age 20. Had to work a full time job during the day to support the 2 of us but went to school full time at night because I still wanted to graduate from college. We didn't have our first kid until 3 days after our 10th wedding anniversary so by then I had graduated college, had a good job and bought a house.
 

Smart_Guy

Fully Optimized
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Location
Saudi Arabia
You say its the least of your worries, but it's actually hard to break out of that habit of being able to do what you want whenever you want to. I've been single for 8 years now, and as much as I like the idea of having a wife and kids, I do also wonder how I would cope suddenly having to spend so much time doing stuff for other people. I'm so used to spending my time exactly how I want to spend it, and I love it. So i'm pretty hesitant to get back into a serious relationship with anyone. I think I will at some point in the next 5 years but parts of it do worry me a little.
That's true. The point is, if breaking such difficult habits is the least of my worries (can't imagine a day without watching cartoons for several hours and such), you can only imagine how more difficult my other worries are.
 

PP Mguire

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31,792
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Fort Worth, Texas
In some cases you can find a woman that wants to be with you, but you do your own separate thing if that makes sense. For instance, she can be on her phone but I can be playing my Switch or whatever and we just want each other's presence. Obviously you'll want to do things together, but it isn't all "stop playing games, stop watching anime, stop hanging with the boys". Those are toxic, stay away. Kids are the wild card, and a person without kids is definitely not ever prepared to have kids. Once a baby comes your house and lifestyle transforms for at least the next 5-8 years. You go out and do different things relevant to the baby rather than bars and concerts. If you both gotta work it gets real hard deciding on daycare or a nanny.

I'm a really good example of this. My last baby was 10 years ago and so was hers. Nurse said "dad go ahead and change the diaper" and I was like shit, the yellow straps go on the back right? Waking up every 30 minutes to 2 hours for changing or feeding. Things like SIDS is something to worry about, climate control (can't just leave it at 69f all night with fans on high), having all the baby stuff like bottles, formula, bassinet, crib, changing area, swings, play mats, diaper bags, car seats, stroller, bottle warmer, drying rack, bottle brushes, etc etc. We have lived an adult lifestyle outside of school and teaching older kids lessons of life ya know. Old enough to stay home, we could go out, play games into the night, annnd we're right back to can't do any of that again. Then you got people around you with no kids who don't understand it like my current boss messaging me on Teams at 7am "you on", or calling me 12 hours after the baby was born because he just doesn't get it. Luckily my close group of friends pretty much all helped me raise my boy when he was a baby so without kids they understand. "Wanna play some RL?" "Lemme get this baby stuff setup before we put him down" "You good man, go be a dad".

Kinda what I was getting at earlier by being older and more "ready", best advice I can give to a new parent. You're going to be tired and stressed the fuck out to your wits end. It's hard. Don't take that out on your baby. Keep the negative energy away and they will be more calm and relaxed. If you're changing the baby don't be making fast movements in anger like "god kid I just changed you" or whatever. I am way happier this time than I was last time, and I can finally enjoy having a baby and same for her. It shows in how relaxed the kid is. Last night at 3am (mind you I was up 24 hours for delivery and after) I was making a bottle, reach over and knock the open bottle over spilling fresh formula and water all over the counter. 10 years ago? Woulda been cussing about how much money I just wasted. This time I just said fuck and laughed it off. Can of formula ran us 37 bucks, but it is what it is. Having a baby is either a mood or a vibe, you choose. Choose vibe, make the best of it because I definitely regret wasting my time with my first born at 23.
 

kmanmx

Golden Master
Messages
9,227
Location
Bonn, Deutschland
The thing that bums me out about the idea of having a kid is I want to actually do the parenting thing and to be able to concentrate on it without work bs. Paternity leave here is dogshit, 2 weeks I think. I'd love to have a year off if/when I have a kid, but the chances of being able to afford it are slim to none.

In other news, M1 Max tho. Oh man, do I want to try that out. 64GB Unified memory @ 400GBs. It's a niche, but I imagine it's going to be popular with scientists who traditionally had to buy the 24GB Titan's to handle their massive datasets. It's obviously not as fast as a Titan (the 32 Core GPU looks to be about as fast as the 3080 Mobile edition, or PS5 level), but it has some other advantages like being in a portable laptop, larger unified memory, CoreML acceleration could be nice too.
 

PP Mguire

Build Guru
Messages
31,792
Location
Fort Worth, Texas
The thing that bums me out about the idea of having a kid is I want to actually do the parenting thing and to be able to concentrate on it without work bs. Paternity leave here is dogshit, 2 weeks I think. I'd love to have a year off if/when I have a kid, but the chances of being able to afford it are slim to none.
One out of a few reasons why I resigned from IconicIT, but because she doesn't get maternity pay I'm looking for another job.
 
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