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PP Mguire

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Well, wife and I are separating. We're not getting a divorce but she's moving out and the whole shebang. I made the call, it was exceptionally hard considering we have the baby involved but it had to be done. I let 2 women ruin my life for a combined 10 years, I didn't want to make it up to 15 or beyond. We might reconcile later but idk :(
 

Joe C

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Well, wife and I are separating. We're not getting a divorce but she's moving out and the whole shebang. I made the call, it was exceptionally hard considering we have the baby involved but it had to be done. I let 2 women ruin my life for a combined 10 years, I didn't want to make it up to 15 or beyond. We might reconcile later but idk :(
Sorry to hear about that PP
 

Trotter

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Well, wife and I are separating. We're not getting a divorce but she's moving out and the whole shebang. I made the call, it was exceptionally hard considering we have the baby involved but it had to be done. I let 2 women ruin my life for a combined 10 years, I didn't want to make it up to 15 or beyond. We might reconcile later but idk :(
Well damn, dude. I hate to hear that.
 

kmanmx

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Well, wife and I are separating. We're not getting a divorce but she's moving out and the whole shebang. I made the call, it was exceptionally hard considering we have the baby involved but it had to be done. I let 2 women ruin my life for a combined 10 years, I didn't want to make it up to 15 or beyond. We might reconcile later but idk :(

Sucks dude. Understand though.. my parents seperated in my teens and ever since then i've been extremely aprehensive of the idea of getting into a long term relationship for the fear it turns out as toxic as my parents.
 

PP Mguire

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Apparently the kids didn't take it seriously until last night and this morning. Teenager lost her shit last night, the boy asked if I was going to be at his football games and she said no, he said then I'm quitting football. Youngest girl said last night she wants to go live with her dad in California. Big oof moment for mom.
Sucks dude. Understand though.. my parents seperated in my teens and ever since then i've been extremely aprehensive of the idea of getting into a long term relationship for the fear it turns out as toxic as my parents.
It's why I never wanted to get married throughout my life. Split homes almost never wind up decent for the kids.
 

strollin

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Sorry to hear of your breakup PP.

Years ago, a co-worker told me her and her husband were divorcing and I said I was sorry to hear that. She asked me why I was sorry and I told her that I didn't like hearing of marriages breaking up. She replied that when I had been married as long as her, I would understand why marriages fail. I asked her how long she had been married and she told me 4 years. I then asked how long she thought I had been married and she related that she had seen my wife and I together and we were always holding hands plus we were expecting our first child so 1-2 years max. I told her we were just shy of our 10th anniversary. She just got up and walked away.
 

PP Mguire

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Well I know her, but after the fact it will be up to me what we do in the future. It sucks but it is what it is. She has a lot of growing she needs to do, and she needs to learn that her family the people she listens to are not good people to take advice from. As a family value we don't believe in divorce so it'll get weird if I get served.
 

strollin

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I have been fortunate that my wife was an orphan when I met her so had no relatives to listen to. Thru-out the years she listened to BS advice from friends on occasion but I have been able to deal with that.

Hope things get solved in the best way for all involved (especially the kids).
 

PP Mguire

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I have been fortunate that my wife was an orphan when I met her so had no relatives to listen to. Thru-out the years she listened to BS advice from friends on occasion but I have been able to deal with that.

Hope things get solved in the best way for all involved (especially the kids).
It doesn't help that her friends and family hate me. I'm an asshole, I'll admit that but overall I'm a very generous and helpful person to the people around me. I'm a dick with the shirt off my back mentality. In any case, they only hate me because of the shit she used to say to victimize herself way back in the beginning. They're honestly (and I'm not exaggerating) too dumb to really think about things critically and put two and two together. Her friends aren't so bad, but again same situation and I don't care to explain anything to these people to right wrongs. IMO it should be up to her to understand what she's done to cause this situation, and listen to their advice with the mindset that whatever they say will be extremely biased against me. They're literally the kind of people that would be say I deserved it if she said she hit me (which she has). Not rationalizing it, but that kind of abuse was in the past. Our problems today are her ditching old habits and stubbornness which will only come with learning things the hard way and wisdom from age. She's almost 30, but she hasn't had to be an "adult" for only about 6 or so years. To make matters even worse with her family, she sees and understands everything I've been saying and even has started hating certain family members for how they are. Sense? There is none lol.

All that being said, after 4 years of being with her I fully understand that if I want this to work (which I do) I need to have severe patience that most people wouldn't have. I fully understand her past, the traumas she tends to ignore, the fact that she's bipolar, how she was "raised", how her ex husband treated her and thus mentally abused her, and I understand that to fix a lot of our problems she needs to learn first hand what it's like to be in MY shoes when it comes to the family responsibilities and her children. The past 7 months we have made big progress in regards to her denial over her ex, her seeing how her family really is, her starting to see the things I've said about her kids are right, her starting to appreciate me for who I am vs just seeing me as a means to an end (despite how shit that sounds), and overall her start to understand her mistakes from the past and the damage they have caused towards me. We're just not quite there with other things and IMO financial responsibility comes solely on having to balance it all yourself when there's a kid on the line. Aka, the absolute hard way. Make it work with sacrifices or live under a bridge type shit. It'll better make her appreciate what I do for this family with regards to finances, and cap her privilege when it comes to my paycheck. It'll also swing her back to our big argument over her car (that I ranted about here heavily) and the situation it ultimately put HER in that she wanted me to fix and why that whole situation was all kinds of wrong.

Yea it's a lot, and a lot of oversharing. But this is more here to be a reminder that my hard part is just starting. She tried moving out today to her new place and immediately started regretting it, so her and the kids are sleeping here again (mainly I wanted the baby to be comfortable, because the older kids need to learn to appreciate what they have too).
 

PP Mguire

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Well, take that post and toss it out the window. I need thoughts and prayers again people, Levi (the baby) stopped breathing today. It appears whatever the shitty doctor ignored for 4 months and the good doctor fixed was worse than we thought. He caught a common cold going around and we thought it was getting better. Today it turned into a severe cough and eventually he stopped breathing from the pain. We rushed him in and the doctor stayed in the room for 3 hours to monitor his breathing. They did 2 nose and throat suctions, and he tested positive as contagious RSV and bronchitis. We have to monitor him all night and all day tomorrow. It's going to be a rough next 6 or so days as this slowly passes, and it can take up to a month to fully pass. Picture taken 2 hours before it all went down. He got so pale, I haven't cried this hard since my dad died.

On the flip side I took the opportunity to apologize to my 15 year old step daughter about what happened and what's going on. She opened up a LOT, probably because it was a good distraction from what the baby was going through. All in all she sees her moms actions, and told me that her and her brother have always felt like the outcasts compared to their sister and that they see me as their only father figure. That they don't want to lose me. I've shared a lot over this relationship mainly as an avenue to vent but damn if this doesn't feel like a hard earned win in 4 years. It's one thing to win over somebody else's kids, it's another to win over two teenagers in a very hostile environment where the opposite family is trying to groom them to hate me.
 

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