Offical joke thread..... WS, but hope no 1 is offended

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The President, GeorgeW. Bush and Colin Powell walk into a bar, sit down and order two drafts. The bartender asks, "Mr. President, can I ask you a question?"
President Bush looks at Mr. Powell then turns to the bartender and says, "Sure"
The bartender asks, " This Iraqi thing that's going on, what do plan on doing?"
President Bust looks the bartender square in the eye and says, "Ok, here's the plan. We're going to drop a nuke on them, estimated casulties in the area of 3 million dead including one blonde with big hooters."
Obviously confused, the bartender asks," Why a blonde with big hooters?"
The president then turns to Mr. Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would care about 3 million Iraqiis."
Two guys are laying in bed together after some heated loving,

One guy leans over to the other and asks "Do you want to cuddle?"

Other guy says "No way man, thats gay!"
What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.
2 condoms are walking down the street. As they approach a gay bar, 1 condom turns to the other and says " Hey, lets go in and get shitfaced!"
i'm catholic, so i find it funny..

Whats the differance between a catholic wedding and a catholic funeral?
.One less drunk

When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's wonderland ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.
A catholic priest is giving confession and after a while he really needs to hit the bathroom. He puts up with it for a bit longer until he spies Jose the maintence man. So the priest says to Jose, "sit in and take confession for me" to which Jose responds, "but father, I can't do that" . The priest repsonds that Jose certainly could and all he had to do was look at the cue cards on the wall for each offense in order to determine how much pennance he should apply. For instance, if someone said they had committed adultry all Jose had to do was look under "A" and then dispense the pennance.

It went well for Jose for a bit until he was told the sin of anal sex. Looking up at the "A's", Jose could not find any pennence for anal sex so he rushes out of the confessional looks around and finds an altar boy. "Quick, how much does Father give for anal sex?" Jose asks, to which the altar boy responds "thats easy, 1 diet coke and 2 snickers bars"
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left.
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