Joke of the Day
- Thread starter Nagasama
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n old one but I like it.
A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also one of the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a Moped , looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped , the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped !"
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 120 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly.
WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!
Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 170 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped ! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 195 mph.
WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of This old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out, and unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your ... side view mirror."
A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also one of the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a Moped , looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped , the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped !"
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 120 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly.
WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!
Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 170 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped ! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 195 mph.
WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of This old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out, and unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your ... side view mirror."
Guys remember the rules.
I can understand some jokes. But your mama jokes may not be funny to some cause of certain aspects of the joke could be offensive to them.
As well as the racist jokes. They are not allowed. PERIOD. We dont allow it in the forums at all and this thread is still part of the forums. It must obey the rules as well.
If the trend continues, the thread will be closed. Lets keep this all in good fun.
I can understand some jokes. But your mama jokes may not be funny to some cause of certain aspects of the joke could be offensive to them.
As well as the racist jokes. They are not allowed. PERIOD. We dont allow it in the forums at all and this thread is still part of the forums. It must obey the rules as well.
If the trend continues, the thread will be closed. Lets keep this all in good fun.
Passengers seat themselves in a plane, ready to take to the skies and reach whatever their final destination might be. Two men, dressed in pilot outfits board the plane. They both walk with canes, and have darkly tinted sunglasses, as if they are blind. The passengers lightly chuckle, thinking that this is some sort of joke that the pilots are pulling on them.
The pilots enter their designated area, seat themselves in their designated chairs, and turn on the PA. They announce that they would be taking to the skies now, and for everyone to remain calm and enjoy their flight. Moments later the plane begins moving.
The plane keeps going and going, but the pilots have yet to lift into the air. At first, the slightly nervous passengers all chuckle, a stress-relief group event because they are fairly certain that this is still a joke. On the runway strip, they are nearing a watch-tower, and the plane still hasn't lifted. The passengers then start talking nervously amongst themselves, as most of them aren't finding this very amusing anymore, yet the plane continues drawing closer to the tower. Finally, the plane appears as if it is never going to lift and now the passengers all scream as loud as they can, for fear that they are all going to die. Immediately the plane lifts in the air, and they safely reach high altitudes. The passengers all release a sigh of relief and go about their business, still unsettled about the recent events.
The pilot then turns to the co-pilot and says, "You know Bob, one day they're going to forget to scream, and we're all going to die".
The pilots enter their designated area, seat themselves in their designated chairs, and turn on the PA. They announce that they would be taking to the skies now, and for everyone to remain calm and enjoy their flight. Moments later the plane begins moving.
The plane keeps going and going, but the pilots have yet to lift into the air. At first, the slightly nervous passengers all chuckle, a stress-relief group event because they are fairly certain that this is still a joke. On the runway strip, they are nearing a watch-tower, and the plane still hasn't lifted. The passengers then start talking nervously amongst themselves, as most of them aren't finding this very amusing anymore, yet the plane continues drawing closer to the tower. Finally, the plane appears as if it is never going to lift and now the passengers all scream as loud as they can, for fear that they are all going to die. Immediately the plane lifts in the air, and they safely reach high altitudes. The passengers all release a sigh of relief and go about their business, still unsettled about the recent events.
The pilot then turns to the co-pilot and says, "You know Bob, one day they're going to forget to scream, and we're all going to die".
HAVOC
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It Doesn't Bother Me
A bright young Scottish lad named Shamus had the opportunity to go to university in London. So he packed his bags and said good-bye to his mother and left the highlands for the big city.
After the first week his mother called to see how her boy was holding up. "I love it here Mother," Shamus told her, "but these English students are the oddest people ever!
Why the boy who lives in the dormitory room next to me bangs his head against the wall until midnight every night.
And the boy in the room above me stomps around until midnight every night. And the boy right below me blasts his stereo until midnight every night."
"Why don't you complain to the Dean of students?" asks his mother.
"Well, it doesn't bother me much," answers Shamus. "I'm usually up until that time quietly practicing my bagpipes anyway."
A bright young Scottish lad named Shamus had the opportunity to go to university in London. So he packed his bags and said good-bye to his mother and left the highlands for the big city.
After the first week his mother called to see how her boy was holding up. "I love it here Mother," Shamus told her, "but these English students are the oddest people ever!
Why the boy who lives in the dormitory room next to me bangs his head against the wall until midnight every night.
And the boy in the room above me stomps around until midnight every night. And the boy right below me blasts his stereo until midnight every night."
"Why don't you complain to the Dean of students?" asks his mother.
"Well, it doesn't bother me much," answers Shamus. "I'm usually up until that time quietly practicing my bagpipes anyway."
Jorsoft
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If anyone has a joke they're not sure about or may be questionable, you can PM it to me and I'll give it my yay or nay. We did this in a previous joke thread and it worked out fine. Edgy is fine but there's a fine line to cross so if you want approval go ahead and send me the joke first.
HAVOC
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