Happiness is...

.
 

Attachments

  • 120329699_2021306831338366_5073072569162726749_n.jpg
    120329699_2021306831338366_5073072569162726749_n.jpg
    69.4 KB · Views: 3
  • 121290004_3696493337036741_3413870211403705138_n.jpg
    121290004_3696493337036741_3413870211403705138_n.jpg
    78.8 KB · Views: 4
  • 122121178_3450231975203008_3376625279767986760_o.jpg
    122121178_3450231975203008_3376625279767986760_o.jpg
    102.5 KB · Views: 4
Been awhile since I contributed here...
 

Attachments

  • 0mrc2vgv90v51.jpg
    0mrc2vgv90v51.jpg
    95.4 KB · Views: 4
  • 6h1sb5vxkju51.jpg
    6h1sb5vxkju51.jpg
    147.7 KB · Views: 4
  • 84u6eyjt22u51.jpg
    84u6eyjt22u51.jpg
    95.3 KB · Views: 4
  • i6x7uls6yzu51.jpg
    i6x7uls6yzu51.jpg
    84.5 KB · Views: 4
  • iems4tguwhu51.png
    iems4tguwhu51.png
    842.1 KB · Views: 4
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for
about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep
in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
'I had no idea you were this religious..'
The boy turns, and whispers back,
'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
 
.
 

Attachments

  • 61b6Av3ndPL._AC_.jpg
    61b6Av3ndPL._AC_.jpg
    76.6 KB · Views: 4
  • 1978 snow.jpg
    1978 snow.jpg
    78.5 KB · Views: 4
  • 122194426_10221087073140175_861126954310729698_n.jpg
    122194426_10221087073140175_861126954310729698_n.jpg
    65.2 KB · Views: 5
  • 122660844_10223878365177832_4222640148493824507_n.jpg
    122660844_10223878365177832_4222640148493824507_n.jpg
    51.2 KB · Views: 5
Monday funnies:
 

Attachments

  • 0gp3j84570v51.jpg
    0gp3j84570v51.jpg
    39.8 KB · Views: 4
  • pe7h9vdg4ev51.png
    pe7h9vdg4ev51.png
    21.3 KB · Views: 4
  • o3d0ss8u63v51.jpg
    o3d0ss8u63v51.jpg
    49 KB · Views: 4
  • hfkg075vubv51.jpg
    hfkg075vubv51.jpg
    29 KB · Views: 4
  • ul7kmkucsev51.jpg
    ul7kmkucsev51.jpg
    93.3 KB · Views: 4
There are several cowmen sitting around in the sale barn waiting for the lightweight calves to run through. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the cowboys picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: (H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello?"
W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the salebarn?"
H - "Yep."
W - "Great! I am at the mall a couple of miles from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H - "What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,900.00."
H - "Well, OK, i guess go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2014 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
H-"What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $110,000..."
H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..."
H - "What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, the horse barn, the vineyard, and the fifty acre lake."
H - "How much are they asking?"
W - "Only $2.5 million - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $2.3 million. OK?"
W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
H - "Bye...I love u too..."
The cowboy hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
 

Attachments

  • 122520471_10159741875086808_1729560153140543548_n.png
    122520471_10159741875086808_1729560153140543548_n.png
    271.4 KB · Views: 4
  • 122701562_10207865554632143_7933725572521945038_n.jpg
    122701562_10207865554632143_7933725572521945038_n.jpg
    115.4 KB · Views: 4
  • 122822158_4064199553595751_2032997181874177804_n.jpg
    122822158_4064199553595751_2032997181874177804_n.jpg
    28 KB · Views: 4
  • 122833536_3693277537402872_6548584086960526849_o.jpg
    122833536_3693277537402872_6548584086960526849_o.jpg
    114.7 KB · Views: 4
.
 

Attachments

  • 122851763_2808600336027652_5935187190082301262_n.jpg
    122851763_2808600336027652_5935187190082301262_n.jpg
    75.2 KB · Views: 7
  • 122852260_3782491408436900_3707997685469095212_o.jpg
    122852260_3782491408436900_3707997685469095212_o.jpg
    46.4 KB · Views: 6
  • 122977133_4084988018197165_5455159975575161747_o.jpg
    122977133_4084988018197165_5455159975575161747_o.jpg
    49.8 KB · Views: 4
  • 123100965_10223109887886631_3581133362043797026_n.jpg
    123100965_10223109887886631_3581133362043797026_n.jpg
    49.4 KB · Views: 3
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'
 
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,
silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator)
responded, 'Son,I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement,a fat old lady in a
motorized cart moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened,
and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and
his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began
to light in the reverse order. The doors opened and a young blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother'
 
Back
Top Bottom