Happiness is...

Wallaby Dan

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Wallaby Dan

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Wallaby Dan

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Location
United States
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strollin

Knowitall!
Messages
3,662
Location
N. Calif.
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Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
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Location
United States
Hello Father...
😂


Two priests decided to go to Hawaii
🌴
on their holidays. They were determined to
make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really
outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses.
😎

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were
sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a
'drop dead gorgeous' topless blonde came walking straight towards them ......
They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'
nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.
Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.
After a little while, the same gorgeous topless blonde came walking toward them.
Again she nodded at each of them and said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.'
'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'
😇
 

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strollin

Knowitall!
Messages
3,662
Location
N. Calif.
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Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
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4,262
Location
United States
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.
He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool
and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches,
head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.
Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'
No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing.
How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'
Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'
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Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
Messages
4,262
Location
United States
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Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
Messages
4,262
Location
United States
.
 

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