Happiness is...

Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
Messages
3,835
Location
United States
Each morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine operation is always located.
He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine guy gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look all without engaging in conversation.
One morning the shoeshine guy asks the banker a question.
“What do you think about the situation in the stock market?” he asks.
The banker slowly lowers his paper and responds, somewhat arrogantly.
“Why are you so interested in that?” the CEO banker replies?”
"I have a million dollars in your bank," the shoeshine guy says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
“What is your name?” asks the CEO.
“John Smith H.”
The CEO arrives at the bank and call into his plush office the Manager of the Customer Department:
“Do we have a client named John Smith H.?”
“Yes – we certainly do,” answers the Customer Services Manager. “He is a highly valued customer. He has a million dollars in his account.”
The CEO leaves the bank and approaches the shoeshine guy.
“Mr. Smith, this coming Monday, would you be a guest of honour of ours at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we will have something to learn from you.”
The shoeshine guy agrees.
So, come Monday, at the board meeting, the CEO introduces the shoeshine guy to all the board members:
“We all know Mr. Smith who makes our shoes shine so brilliantly from his business on the corner” the CEO says. “But what you may not know is that Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer of ours with a million dollars in his account. I have invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can all learn something from him.”
And the CEO sat down and gave the shoeshine guy the floor
So, the shoeshine guy began his story:
“I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Suddenly I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options: eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for two dollars and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes. I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and ointments in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while I was able to buy an armchair so that my clients could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shine on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place. Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a prostitute in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars. “
 

Attachments

Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
Messages
3,835
Location
United States
For anyone wondering how EAST Tennessee is handling COVID....
we’ve got a tiger on the loose that we’re trying to catch with a bear trap filled with chicken ,
an airplane landed on Intersate 640, 56 gallons of science grade hydrogen peroxide jugs
distributed to the public by accident at a food pantry (very hazardous)....
and, don’t forget the lovely wallaby loose in Johnson City! (Don’t worry guys! The owner said he is mostly friendly unless he is nervous!)
👀

There was a bear on a roller coaster at Anakeesta in Gatlinburg, and a BOA constrictor loose in downtown Sevierville!
We have entered into RedNeck Level 40 of Jumanji!!
 

Attachments

Wallaby Dan

Fully Optimized
Messages
3,835
Location
United States
One Sunday, counting the money in the weekly offering,
the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.
It happened again the next week!
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and
saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate.
This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure you can afford this?
How much does he send you?" The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered. "That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea
they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada ... He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas and one in Reno.
 

Attachments

Top