so any way to make it a portable USB drive?, (yet another thing that a windows phone does "out of the box").
Honestly, here is my opinion. You really need to stop your bitching. If the iPhone is not cutting it for you, get rid of it. It's working wonders for a lot of people. No need to make this a competition about how bad they are. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean you will change the mind of others who have had this phone for a while. So sell it and STFU.
I mean that in the nicest way possible.