Clueless people thread

[Shakie]

Since there is a great many of us that work in Tech-Support, I thought it would be cool to start a thread about the *users* we work with.

And if you don't work Tech-Support, I am sure you still work with a clueless person, so you can share your story too.




*Users /nm./: collective term for those who use computers. Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users: people who break other people's computers.

 

[Ecniv]

If you like that type of stuff, check out www.tech-comedy.com

 

[Shakie]

** JUST HAPPENED 7/07/03 5:13PM CST -6:00GMT**

I went to our ICU department because a doctor was having problems getting an X-Ray to come up in the program she was using. When I got done fixing that, I was on my way out when I was stopped by another physician. The conversation went like this:

DR: Hey, before you leave can you answer a question?

Me: Sure. What's up?

DR: (Pointing to a Dell LCD monitor) This computer isn't working, the only thing that will come on the screen is that box. I can move the mouse and press keys, but nothing happens.

Me: (Me looks over at PC- Jaw drops in aww of the stupidity. The screen had the color box that is on Dell monitors when the monitor is on, but no PC is connected) There isn't a PC connected to the monitor.

DR: How do you know?

Me: Well, that box on the screen tells me that there is no PC connected... um, that and the post-it on the monitor that says, "NO PC- Do not use".

That was pretty much all that was said. On top of that though, all the connectors for the keyboard, mouse, network and the PS cable were laying on top of the desk.

 

[Don Fudleone]

ROFLMAO

hehe

Don Fudleone

 

[stormy78]

There's a reason why I'm glad to be unemployed right now LOL

 

[chalk]

I loved the lawyers who printed their court papers right before court, got a error 50 or whatever and used their 'power' to spam my pager, demanding immediate resolution. *looks @ the mny netwrked printers that do work*

Their was another secretary that needed a tech to hand-hold her through mailing an attachment...every...single...time... She also called us to change her toner cartridge. We would always make the newest tech go for these!

Another expert user demanded I fix the Internet...um 'I'll get right on that,' this same guy had windows load all apps he used at startup...excel, word, mail, various in house VB apps,browser, everything..."why is my machine low on resources/slow? Didn't you guys spec the machines? A computer 'savy' user/ivy league lawyer nimrod who argued with our recomendations.

Well placed techno-jargon-babble while trying to explain 'why their compter did whatever,' went with the job. 'Entropy' didn't seem to appease people, users actually seemed to want to hear the techno-monkeyspeak...makes me think about when I listen to my mechanic talk(not understanding 80% of it, but nodding anyway)...hrmmm

ahh, i feel better now that I've made fun of users - thanks Guy!


*just read Guy's roflmao!

 

[diesoft]

Great stories Guy and Chalk. I don't work in tech support but I have a lot of computer illiterate friends and co-workers that own computers. I always end up having to help them out and it usually ends up being ridiculously simple..Like the latest: After I had given a co-worker a game to install on his pc, he comes back to work telling me that "it wont work". To make a long story short the cd wouldnt auto-run and all he had to do was double click drive E: to run it. heh.

 

[Shakie]

** FRESH 7/07/03 7:06PM CST -6:00 GMT **

So I get this phone call. Some lady somewhere in the hospital. The converstation goes something like this:

Me: Infoformation Systems, this is Shawn, can I help you?

Her: I hope so, I have a report that I really need for a patient, but it won't print. I have clicked print several times, but nothing comes out.

Me: (Clicked several times- OMG) Ma'am, have you checked to make sure that the printer is on?

Her: No, hang on...

Me: (Sure, the printer doesn't need to be on to PRINT!!!)

Her: OK, that fixed it, it's printing now. Thanks.

Me: Yeah, check to make sure that the printer is on when you print. Some people turn them off when they go home for the evening.

Her: It was on, but it just wasn't printing, it started when I was over there.


Me: Good deal. Have a good night. *Click*


************ 5 minutes later *******************

Her: Me again. Now that it printed, it won't stop printing.

Me: Well, let me check the print "Q". (While checking her printer I see that it has 18 more jobs waiting, and it's already been 5 minutes since started printing. HOW MANY TIMES DID SHE CLICK!!!!??? I clear the "Q" for her
printer)

Me still: Ma'am how many times did you click print?

Her: A lot. It wouldn't print and I was in a hurry.

Me: OK ma'am, next time only press it one time and it will print just wait a few seconds and if it doesn't print give me a call, OK?

Her: OK. Thanks.

Me: Have a good night.... *click* ...MORON!!

==============================================
We use HP 8100 and 4100 LJs in most of the hospital, and they are fast, how impatient can a person be?


Well, this was fresh then, I couldn't get to the forums earlier.

 

[Quantum]

Where I go to school, people are clueless. We did a lab with an email server. We couldn't get it to work. After 4 weeks, I discovered that he didn't assign anyone mailboxes or proper permissions! Today, we redid on my computer and I got it to work first time. He was in shock.

In I.T., are know-it-alls common? I see that a lot in other forums and at tech shows.

 

[chalk]

Guy, that printer story has me rolling! Guy: How many times did you click? "Her: A lot. It wouldn't print and I was in a hurry."

Troubleshooting user problem checklist.

1. Is the monitor on, is the light amber or green.
2. Is the computer plugged in.
3. Is the power strip on/off.
4. Reboot your machine and call me back if problem persists.

Sad how many times these 4 things solved user problems.

I hated how the users would have their computer cases on the floor...you could plainly see the buffer dents and brush marks on the side of the case.

The OMG award goes to my friend who had a user that walked over and said calmly "My monitor is on fire." Thinking it just smelled like smoke, my friend casually walks over...to find it is actually smoking like hell and is starting to actually catch fire. Funniest thing: Lawyer giving presentation in conference room from powerpoint on laptop--screen saver kicks in....pr0n screen saver. Saddest thing: Almost all issued pcmcia modems for laptops are killed, when lawyers try and plug them into the digital phone jacks.

Quantum: YAh, I had this one tech that had done that, been there, and would not let you finish your sentence before acknowledging that he had more expereience etc. One of the most clueless individuals, that took 3 times longer to fix anything. I found him one day trying to pkzip -& span disks a 50+ meg file...in the hardware setup room with his feet kicked up listening to the radio. I asked him why he didn't use zip disks...grrr - I had been putting out fires (network and user issues).

diesoft: hehe