well... I did it
this was my solution (but might not be your solution if you get in the same situation)
during post, I can hit [tab] to enter the RAID setup. I just deleted the array and recreated the RAID array. Deleting the array is just like formating
after that... everything went according to plan (so far anyway)
NOTE: for what ever reason, not was able to see the partition, no recovery disk, not emergency disk , not boot disk... not fdisk, norton... nothing.... not sure if the RAID was screwed or not....
but I just deleted teh array and started over.
Ofcourse I lost all my data, but most important things were already backed up (offsite)