Ok well its been a while since last post cause we have been waiting for mail systems and money. So finally I sent the old card back to PNY and they refurbished it. Got the card home and POOF same exact problem again. In the time we have been waiting for the card back I used another PCI-E card i had and it had been working fine (also we have upgraded to a 300w psu, it was all i had laying around).
Still starts up and just stays a back screen. The monitor registers the card is active, but the screen is an "on" black. Does not matter if you plug in DVI or VGA. When we take the card out the on-board works fine, and if we put the 8400 nvidia card back in they work fine. I have not tried the GT210 in another computer (will in morning).
It just still seems the card is in sleep mode and wont wake up. It is just weird it doesn't start up. Guess we will know more in the morning when i try the card in a new machine. Would love any ideas to try in the morning too.