gimli of gloin
In Runtime
- Messages
- 327
This one is old but still funny
>> >>Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
>> >>Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>> >>Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
>> >>Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> went away."
>> >>Operator: "Went away?"
>> >>Caller: "They disappeared."
>> >>Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
>> >>Caller: "Nothing."
>> >>Operator: "Nothing??"
>> >>Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>> >>Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
>> >>Caller: "How do I tell?"
>> >>Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
>> >>Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>> >>Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
>> >>Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
>> >>type."
>> >>Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
>> >>Caller: "What's a monitor?"
>> >>Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
>> >>Caller: "I don't know."
>> >>Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
>> >>the
>> >>power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
>> >>Caller: "Yes, I think so."
>> >>Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> plugged into the wall.
>> >>Caller: "Yes, it is."
>> >>Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
>> >>were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
>> >>Caller: "No."
>> >>Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
>> >>find
>> >>the other cable."
>> >>Caller: "Okay, here it is."
>> >>Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
>> >>the back of your computer."
>> >>Caller: "I can't reach."
>> >>Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
>> >>Caller: "No."
>> >>Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
>> >>over??"
>> >>Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
>> >>because it's dark."
>> >>Operator: "Dark??"
>> >>Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
>> >>coming in from the window.
>> >>" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
>> >>Caller: "I can't."
>> >>Operator: "No? Why not??"
>> >>Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
>> >>Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
>> >>licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
>> >>your computer
>> >>came in??"
>> >>Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>> >>Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
>> >>just
>> >>like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
>> >>it from."
>> >>Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
>> >>Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>> >>Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
>> >>Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
>> >>Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
>> >>Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>> >>Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
>> >>Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> went away."
>> >>Operator: "Went away?"
>> >>Caller: "They disappeared."
>> >>Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
>> >>Caller: "Nothing."
>> >>Operator: "Nothing??"
>> >>Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>> >>Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
>> >>Caller: "How do I tell?"
>> >>Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
>> >>Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>> >>Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
>> >>Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
>> >>type."
>> >>Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
>> >>Caller: "What's a monitor?"
>> >>Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
>> >>Caller: "I don't know."
>> >>Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
>> >>the
>> >>power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
>> >>Caller: "Yes, I think so."
>> >>Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> plugged into the wall.
>> >>Caller: "Yes, it is."
>> >>Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
>> >>were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
>> >>Caller: "No."
>> >>Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
>> >>find
>> >>the other cable."
>> >>Caller: "Okay, here it is."
>> >>Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
>> >>the back of your computer."
>> >>Caller: "I can't reach."
>> >>Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
>> >>Caller: "No."
>> >>Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
>> >>over??"
>> >>Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
>> >>because it's dark."
>> >>Operator: "Dark??"
>> >>Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
>> >>coming in from the window.
>> >>" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
>> >>Caller: "I can't."
>> >>Operator: "No? Why not??"
>> >>Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
>> >>Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
>> >>licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
>> >>your computer
>> >>came in??"
>> >>Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>> >>Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
>> >>just
>> >>like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
>> >>it from."
>> >>Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
>> >>Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>> >>Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
>> >>Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"