remixedcat's corner:problems in my life

[remixedcat]

I'm back home.... had one of the worst days of my life....

sorry if this isnt very organized i'm EXTREMELY STRESSED AND FED UP

My sister just came back from the hospital... she was having extreme chest pains... I have explained it in the space x thread.... I will go into detail a bit more later... I am stressed, depressed, and at the end of it all...

quick explaination.... I've had it rough for a long time... I'm broke, angry, distressed, and had so many hopes shattered and I've lost most of my comforts, I feel like something is eating at me and trying to tear me to shreds and there is no hope left in me.... not much at all...

My sis has had it even worse.... she's dealt with so much worse then me, and even her closest friends abandoned her when our dad died... she has like 20 some friends up in wisconsin/minnesota that never even bothered to text her... they all have her number and even address... they never even said or did anything..

she also has been having chest pains, profuse weakness, back and neck pains, she got injured badly on a roller coaster at king's island (read more on my blog I don't have time to copy and paste and type it here) and she's had lots of other issues since then that stemmed from that...

my house is also in bad shape... the roof got "fixed" by a contractor, they "fixed" it and we moved in and have had leaks since then... we took her to court and only got a award of 700 bucks.... we havent even sen 1 cent of that yet and this was nearly 3 years ago! my mom has pursued the counrt actions and has had no luck. my bro put a bandaid fix on it and it worked for a while but its still leaking now and we are too broke to fix it....

money has ben so tight becuase of other events and I'm getting in a bind.... I cannot get any more work here other then frelance pc repair and people arent able to afford even 30USD/hr which is very rock bottom pricing here... specially since the pc place down the road charges upwards of 150/hr and I have been unable to get any new clients for a while and I cannot afford to advertise any now...

so for now we've been tapping into reserves and those are running dry and a bit of money from my dad's social security plan I'm on... but that barely pays the bills.

and now back the medical problems....


the doc told her that she could have a hernia of some sort that could be causing the stomach pressure and the other pressure that's causing her the pains...

I am going to take over her work (since I can do it with mom that has the same job and "fill in" for sis with the scanning and price cheking) and really pamper her a bit...

I'm not feeling too great myself. I have been on alert and "dealing with it" and "roughing it' mode for nearly 3 years... I've been "in the zone" for about a year and it's taking it's toll on me... a breakdown is very close for me, yet I have no time to cut back and I have to get enough money to replace the GPU in my hubby's PC but money is so damn tight right now for my whole family and this trip is also coming up and arrrrgggg.....

I can't even relax or even have a good cry becuase I hate crying infront of my family or anyone. I never do. I have never cried infront of my sister becuase I have to be strong for her. I am tempted to get checked out myself but I'm worried it might stress sis out and make her worse.... I'm in a real bind here. I am not gonna take care of myself untill she's taken care of and it would make me feel better. thing is it might be worrying her to but arrrrg....

I'm in a bad situation and I don't know how to get out of it... I have very little money and I've even given up on eating out for a while and been eating cheaper to save up but things keep going so wrong for me.

yet I have to keep it together and be strong and not show any emotions to keep the vibes together and keep it smooth and that is the toughest ordeal i've ever had to go through all my life.

I have to say I've been fantastic at dealing with it..... but it might come at a price.

my mom normally has told me to not overreact in this situation, however I had to tell her that becuase my mom was being too hyper around her and I had to tell her to speak softer becuase she was making my sister have more problems. I've never had to tell her to do that before...

wow I feel like there's so much pressure on me...

I really need something epically awesome to happen to happen to me to lift me up out of this or I don't know how much of this **** I can take...

i am never one to admit weakness but I have no choice at this point...

 

[-RockMan-]

I'm back home.... had one of the worst days of my life....

sorry if this isnt very organized i'm EXTREMELY STRESSED AND FED UP
money has ben so tight becuase of other events and I'm getting in a bind.... I cannot get any more work here other then frelance pc repair and people arent able to afford even 30USD/hr which is very rock bottom pricing here... specially since the pc place down the road charges upwards of 150/hr and I have been unable to get any new clients for a while and I cannot afford to advertise any now...

so for now we've been tapping into reserves and those are running dry and a bit of money from my dad's social security plan I'm on... but that barely pays the bills.

and now back the medical problems....


the doc told her that she could have a hernia of some sort that could be causing the stomach pressure and the other pressure that's causing her the pains...

I am going to take over her work (since I can do it with mom that has the same job and "fill in" for sis with the scanning and price cheking) and really pamper her a bit...

I'm not feeling too great myself. I have been on alert and "dealing with it" and "roughing it' mode for nearly 3 years... I've been "in the zone" for about a year and it's taking it's toll on me... a breakdown is very close for me, yet I have no time to cut back and I have to get enough money to replace the GPU in my hubby's PC but money is so damn tight right now for my whole family and this trip is also coming up and arrrrgggg.....

I can't even relax or even have a good cry becuase I hate crying infront of my family or anyone. I never do. I have never cried infront of my sister becuase I have to be strong for her. I am tempted to get checked out myself but I'm worried it might stress sis out and make her worse.... I'm in a real bind here. I am not gonna take care of myself untill she's taken care of and it would make me feel better. thing is it might be worrying her to but arrrrg....

I'm in a bad situation and I don't know how to get out of it... I have very little money and I've even given up on eating out for a while and been eating cheaper to save up but things keep going so wrong for me.



i am never one to admit weakness but I have no choice at this point...

You need to get yourself some sleep and piece and quite.
About your work situation, take the time this week and re-look at everything and decide which type of work is important and which isn't.
If you need the income, you may have to tell your current customers that things have to change, look at your other competition and think of a way to get business coming back to you.

About the contract work, I don't know if its too late, but you may want to speak to a judge and lawayer and have that money court ordered back to you, if you owed money.
The court will figure out a way to stop this persons bank account if he owes you.

About your computer, if you need a new one somebody will get you one eventually. >_>
http://www.techist.com/forums/f40/wts-amd-3650-apu-quadcore-hdd-ram-257133/

 

[alaa_ecv_tc]

Everyone has his own bad times ... and his own good times , give me a name to someone didn't have a bad time yet ? & There is no weakness in having a bad time , losing your mind is the weakness and so losing every thing .

Draw a smile on your face .. that's will make your sister happy .. no one can beat the smile

I don't live in your country so I can't tell you what to do .. but I can give you this

 

[remixedcat]

aww thank you both ^_^

 

[Spud1200]

remixedcat, clear you Inbox, I'm trying to Message you, its rejecting my PMs.

 

[remixedcat]

damn we need more PM space... I'm sure this server can handle it it's a dedicated on softlayer.... they pay big money for it...

 

[MindoverMaster]

Hey remixed, I hear ya. I started having seizures in summer '09. You can imagine what that does to you. I was scared to death. I was scared to be left alone. Plus after I had my stroke last summer, another plummet.

That's what blogs are for. To spill out all your feelings.

It will get better, always does. Even if it doesn't improve to the comfort you had before.

 

[remixedcat]

I'm back with startling news....


Might not be able to make it down to florida for the launch... mom's work won't let her have time off now.... I hope it gets delayed again.... sister is still sicky....

very broken about it... it is a once in a lifetime event and it would have been nice to meet the launch team that set this up and socialize with everyone... and watch my dad's dream come true... I'm sure it allready has and he is an awesome higher energy being that can create a universe of his very own....

I realize to me, that's more important and even more awesome then seeing some ashes being launched in a rocket.... that's even more deep and even more real to me...

I'm sure he would never ever fault me for not going....

however if we still get a chance then he would be proud of me either way....

his journey isn't over and niether is any of ours....

*doesn't fight the tears this time*