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Old 08-27-2017, 10:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Need advice... again (family stuff)

Hey guys

So my brother has now been married 3 years
And for the last 3 years my wife has said that her relationship with my mom and sister hasn't been the same, she feels like something happened.
She was really close to them when we lived there during our first year of marriage, I assumed it faded cos we moved out.
Fast forward 3 years, my wife and brother's wife are best friends however she's always suspected her of spreading lies but couldn't pin point it.
Last weekend my mom and sister asked her why didn't they have my older sister in a certain group, my mom said that the sister in law said that you guys got into a fight...my wife was like huh??
This is when she was like okay enough is enough
So she confronted my younger sister yesterday
Apparently for the last 3 years my sister in law has been spreading messed up lies about my wife to my younger sister
And vice versa
She had been spreading bad lies about my younger sister to my wife
My wife and younger sister had a bunch of saved texts of all those convos so they literally showed the texts to each other and saw all the lies
My wife and younger sister are now in disbelief
They don't know what's real or not.

Now should I tell my brother this? We're close
Tell him that his wife is destroying our family and is a liar
What sucks is that they just had a kid
My brother used to be an addict and it took him years to finally clean up his act
He had a messy past but has been really good for like 7 years
My wife and sister are going to confront the sister in law for sure I'm just wondering if I have a duty to tell my brother
I'm so scared that it'll destroy him though.

My wife didn't expect the lies to be this bad, she was going to travel with her this week and she's so cancelling the trip.


Man women and their drama right...
It's just crazy that there's actual proof of so many lies for the last 3 years...it's actually scary
We were involved in lies we had no idea about.
Anyways what do you guys think...
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Old 08-27-2017, 12:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

I don't know man. On one hand I feel that you should be the one to tell him because if she's lying about your wife and sister, she's probably feeding him BS too. On the other hand if you are the one to tell him he could resent you for it or go to a bad place if you know what I mean.
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Old 08-28-2017, 02:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

If she's been lying that much for that long then it's not something you wanna sweep under a rug IMO. If my partner had been doing that I'd want to know for sure, and if I found out my brother had known and didn't tell me...man. That'd screw me up even more
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Old 08-28-2017, 09:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

My wife and sister are going to confront her today.
We invited my older sister to get advice and guidance from her and she was shocked...she's like this feels like a drama tv show.
She's wants to know why she did it and if she has a mental illness or something.
But yeah I really want to tell my brother, he's always cared deeply for me and even though we're total opposites I care for him.
I'm almost thinking of telling him while they're confronting the sister in law tonight.
I feel like if my wife was doing this I'd wanna know no matter what however I never had a drug, alcohol or an addictive personality but my brother did.
He has a child now so hopefully that will stop him.
My wife hasn't been sleeping properly for a long time, she used to keep telling me that she thinks this was happening but never had proof, i kinda had a feeling but didn't think it would be this bad.
My sister said that she was spreading lies about me, my brother in laws and a lot more.
My wife didn't sleep at all last night, she can't wait to finally confront her now that she has proof.

Thanks for the advice
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Old 08-30-2017, 06:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

Any news on how this went?
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Old 08-30-2017, 09:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yami View Post
Any news on how this went?
yes so
they confronted her 2 days ago at my place.
Before they did she kept messaging my sister saying that she really wants to come clean about stuff and be open and start fresh.... like whaaA?

Anyways
So they confronted her and told her that they kinda found stuff out that wasn't true so they asked her maybe 2 things that she said and asked her if it was true.
She denied them, started crying and left the house.
My sister was compationate and told her that we're family, we don't wanna break a relationship, we just wanna know the truth and why.
So at this point my wife and sister are kinda pissed
so the next day they meet again.
She finally talked this time and kinda nodded and kinda agreed to some stuff, her reasoning is that she assumed stuff or she doesn't k now why she said it.

I'm sorry but i told them that i don't buy it and neither does my wife.

One thing though, my wife has been around her family and all they do is gossip, like 24/7
so we're wondering if that's what she's used to, like thats all she knows

my sisters are telling me not to tell my brother, that it isn't needed...my wife is 50/50 on that, she doesn't scared this will become a big deal.
I'm confused my self.
If it was me, I'd wanna know regardless.
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Old 08-30-2017, 10:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

I'd wanna know too. And I would be pissed that my own family kept it from me for what they thought was for my own good.

From your Bro's perspective I'd be like wtf.. do they think they're protecting me by keeping me out of the loop? Do they think I'm not capable of dealing with the issue? Do they not think I might have a say in what's going on with my own wife?

That's how I think that situation can be perceived by him, although I dont know him at all. I would also say that you would be better telling him so he doesn't hear it from his liar of a wife. She could exagurate the story and lie about how you treated her during the confrontation.
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Old 08-30-2017, 11:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Need advice... again (family stuff)

Quote:
Originally Posted by iParanormalx View Post
I'd wanna know too. And I would be pissed that my own family kept it from me for what they thought was for my own good.

From your Bro's perspective I'd be like wtf.. do they think they're protecting me by keeping me out of the loop? Do they think I'm not capable of dealing with the issue? Do they not think I might have a say in what's going on with my own wife?

That's how I think that situation can be perceived by him, although I dont know him at all. I would also say that you would be better telling him so he doesn't hear it from his liar of a wife. She could exagurate the story and lie about how you treated her during the confrontation.

So they just had a baby, its been a month and I think the sister in law is going thru
pregnancy postpartum depression which i I heard isn't common
She's leaving this weekend with her kid to montreal for a month, this is where her family is so she was planning on doing that from the beginning so the whole family gets to be with the baby.
My sisters are saying that timing is bad since she's in this situation and cos she's leaving.
I would hate to wait for another month to tell my brother or while she's gone cos he would hate that he can't say anything while she's gone
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