My hopes and dreams have been destroyed...

[WorldIndustries]

My girlfriend of FOUR WEEKS just called. She's pregnant. She's quite happy about it... Turns out, she "forgot" to take her pills once in a while... I always wanted to use condoms, but she wouldn't have it... Being the push-over I am, I went along with it...

I'm only 18... I just started college. I cannot tell my parents... I'll either be disowned or murdered. I cannot tell anyone...


My life is ruined. Merry frickin' Christmas.

 

[atomic tofu]

too extreme maybe? why disowned or murdered?
is it yours? wait and see maybe?
joking and not...

i'm disturbed only because it's like so many stories out there...
if you really loved each other you'd be happy right? Age regardless, it's not the end of the world or your life, it should be a new beginning.

4 weeks...just look into it, you never know.

 

[WorldIndustries]

It is most likely mine. I do not see how it couldn't be.

I've only been with the girl for 4 weeks. There is not a whole lot of "love" invovled.

I just don't know... I'm only 18. I did not picture myself being a father for a LONG time... I am not ready for this by any means. I feel very ashamed. If I abandon her, I have to live with THAT for the rest of my life.

My parents are very conservative... I am fairly certain this will tear apart any closeness I have with my father and mother.

 

[WorldIndustries]

And on an ironic note... My screen-name for the past few days was "My youth is slipping away", before I even knew about this whole thing. Didn't see that coming.

 

[Merkwürdigeliebe]

I really don't want to start a debate of any kind, what you and your girlfriend decide is all based on whatever sense of morality you possess, but has the idea of an abortion crossed your mind at all?

I doubt you or your girlfriend are financially or mentally ready to be able to handle raising a child, unless of course, your parents from each side are willing to help you out.

There is no way you can keep this from your parents, no matter what route you take. Your actions will have consequences of which you are destined to face. If your parents abandon you, then so be it - what can you do? But most parents will never abandon their children. They might act harshly at first, but over time they will learn to accept you. If they really are so conservative (ie radical Muslims) that they are willing to kill you for such actions, then defend yourself through whatever means and ignore the fact that they are your biological parents. If they attempt to kill you there is no turning back, they should become garbage to you.

I'm sorry to hear how much of a negative impact this may have on your life. Best of luck working things out.

But I find it hard to believe that you'd bring something of such great significance to an Internet forum...

 

[WorldIndustries]

She will not abort... Which brings me further to believe she had this planned all along. I am in no way able to financially raise a child... I'm under student loans right now, and will be for the next 3-4 years.

I feel like I have no choice but to walk away from this... It was her decision to not use condoms. It was her decision to not take her pills. And it is her decision to not abort. I had no idea the girl was not taking her pills. She seems so happy right now, it's terrifying... I do not want to be tied down. I'm too young.


Like I said, I have nobody to talk to this about right now, I only found out about this hours ago... Being anonymous for the most part here gives me comfort.

 

[Merkwürdigeliebe]

She will not abort... Which brings me further to believe she had this planned all along. I am in no way able to financially raise a child... I'm under student loans right now, and will be for the next 3-4 years.

I feel like I have no choice but to walk away from this... It was her decision to not use condoms. It was her decision to not take her pills. And it is her decision to not abort. I had no idea the girl was not taking her pills. She seems so happy right now, it's terrifying... I do not want to be tied down. I'm too young.


Like I said, I have nobody to talk to this about right now, I only found out about this hours ago... Being anonymous for the most part here gives me comfort.

Darn, that really sounds a little too frighteningly familiar. My uncle is being tied down by his wife as well. I'd like to think differently, but it's only too obvious.

Here's the story. He was dating this woman when they were both in their mid-20s, and then one night, they break up, a friend of my uncle's gets a call. He says, "I'm finally rid of that b**ch" during their conversation. Not too soon after, we find out that she got pregnant, and a couple of years later to today, she's going to be popping a 5th child, and they are 'happily' married with lots of problems.

Stay away from this girl. She's only going to cause you problems. Do what you can to support this child, and try and find out as soon as you can if the child is actually yours. Get a DNA paternity test. I have no clue about costs, but I quickly Googled and got this:

WikiAnswers - How much does a DNA test cost

good luck

 

[WorldIndustries]

My biggest problem right now is letting my parents know... I don't know how I'm going to manage to do it. I feel a lot of shame.

 

[FireFox]

^^ Don't until you know for sure.

She may just be jerking your chain...or it may not even be yours.

This has happened to many of my friends...it was never their's though...they were worried just like you are now...but yea...

I can relate to your position rather well with your parents and all...

 

[WorldIndustries]

Don't tell until I know for sure? I'm not sure I can live with this looming over my head... I'm the type of person who can lie in bed for hours and worry about stuff.

And as you can tell... I'm pretty pessimistic. And panicking right now.


As for yanking my chain... I really wish she was.