Met a girl - Need some advice!

[BennyV04988]

So, I met a girl at a party the other night. I wasn't really drinking, but she was. She took a strong liking to me but I didn't read very far into it. It was a highlighter party though so everyone was drawing and writing things on each others' shirts under the black-lights. She leans in and draws a Darwin fish on my shirt, and suddenly I'm paying attention. We start to flirt and hang together at the party. At the end of the night she suddenly writes her phone number on my shirt and then asks "wait, you're coming home with me right?". I tell her I couldn't possibly do that, not while she was drunk, nor when I hadn't met her sober. She was devastated; actually upset with me.

The next morning I message her and say, "admit it, I made the right decision last night." She agrees but says "I was so ****ed at you! I just wanted to snuggle!" Seeing that the sober version also likes me, I ask her if she wants to watch a movie at my place. She says she'd love to and we really hit it off, talking until 5am. She's smart, intellectual, well-read, utterly adorable too. Then, she kisses me. She ends up actually staying the night on my futon, requesting that I sleep there with her (not "sleep with her"). The next morning, as I drop her off, she gives me a really long kiss good bye.

She appeared completely genuine throughout our time together, but it's almost like we hit it off "too well". It felt like we had been dating for weeks, and we interacted with that same level of comfort and openness.

It's Tuesday now and we chat online, but obviously not with the full chemistry we have when we're around each other. She said online that she definitely likes me, but there's no rush. I don't get the sense that us hanging out this weekend is in the works, even though it's most definitely on my mind...

I'm really unsure how to proceed:
Do I ask to see her again sometime this week or weekend?
Do I leave her alone for a while and see if she starts to miss me?
Do I consider it a lame one-night-stand and move on?

 

[C0RR0SIVE]

Try to go a bit slower **** dude... Go on a date every few weeks... Not every time you can....

 

[oldskool]

^^^ Exactly the best advice possible right now. Just take it slow, you have a long life ahead and there is no hurry - take that from a 40-something-yr old ! Be like the two bulls....

You know the story, the young bull and his grandfather, a much older bull, are looking down a hill at all the young beautiful cows. The young bull says to the grandfather bull, "Hey, let's run down the hill and **** one of those cows ! ", to which the grandfather said slowly and deliberately, "Naahh, let's walk down the hill and **** ALL of them !" lol

NOOOOO Dont do cows, or every girl you get to. Life is short, but relatively speaking you have a long time to just enjoy life for life's sake. Be the bull....but do it SAFELY !

 

[Viscin]

It would be funny if she reads these forums..

 

[[t..o..m]]

man going slow or fast has nothing to do with it, just go with what is comfortable with both of you. Some people take it slow, some fast, point being you just have to act normal and try not to force things.
Act like your best friends just wanting to hang out on a regular basis, oh and don't over think too much about what might happen, just let it happen on it's own

 

[Lexluethar]

I wouldn't put her off too much. Just take it easy and do things like you guys already did.

Tough to say when b/c i'm assuming you are in college or in a college type atmosphere. When I was in college it was difficult to 'put someone off' because you end up seeing that same girl at another party you go to that weekend. If you are just going to keep it low key this weekend, then I say wait until monday or tuesday to do something. If you can't wait that long don't, or if you are already going out or have plans maybe invite her.

Don't leave her alone for a while, what a stupid concept. If you like her, go for her. Don't just wait around, someone should smack you on the head for that one (in a loving manner of course). I say continue seeing her just don't make it an every day thing, see her a few times a week. Once you guys realize you are really a good fit start seeing her more often.

If you like her, again go for it. She's 'backing off' because she's feeling the same way you are. She doesn't want to come on too aggressive so she's backing off and seeing what you do or if you have the same feelings IMO. So I say go into it w/ the same mentality she is w/ the 'there is no rush' idea. Just hang out a fwe times a week and see where it takes you. And of course if you want to see her more/less then arrange that.

 

[molsen]

DONT'T wait to go on dates with her every couple weeks...that's horrible advice. She'll move on from you so fast...

Definitely do what's comfortable for the both of you? Does she seem eager to see you soon and do you want to see soon too? Then do it. But be cool about it. Don't fall too hard too fast -- keep your head on straight.

 

[C0RR0SIVE]

Sorry but I have seen and noticed from experience if she want's to move fast and only fast and not give the other time then all she wants will be sex and the guys money and time...

 

[oldskool]

man going slow or fast has nothing to do with it, just go with what is comfortable with both of you.

True, but going slow (meaning dont be in a hurry) will tell you and her if you want to be together without this preconceived hangup a lot of people get - like "I should wait x days", or, "man, I really want to do her tonight, or else !!"

Trust me, take it slow DOES NOT mean like wait x or y days, it is not a "rate". It means BE FRIENDS FIRST !! Does anybody use that any more ??? That is what I mean by take it slow, be friends first - the rest will take care of itself !!!!

 

[BennyV04988]

I think I'm in the clear.

She texted me at a few hours ago and said her laptop wasn't booting, asked if I could take a look. I drove over and got it up and running in just a few minutes. She was soo relieved and like tackled me onto her bed. I thought, "phew, she still feels the same way". I stayed and chatted with her for awhile. As I went to leave she goes, "you... you can't leave me...nope..." and tried to keep me from leaving with her legs. "Okay, fine... but you should really sleep over sometime." (Not for sex)

She's pushing things a little fast, but every time I take a raincheck she seems to like me more lol.

Anyway, I'm just relieved that she still feels the same way she did saturday night. Texting/IMing is soo hard to judge sometimes. Thanks for the advice everyone.

And yeah, the best advice seems to be "go with what feels comfortable" Don't act out of fear or ambition, just go with the flow. That's sooo much easier to do in person though, wow.