Just realized how easy it is to become someone you've hated all your life

[krazyq]

Hey guys its been a while.
For what i'm about to say i won't blame anyone for not ever wanting to talk to me again since i deserve it.
I just need to get it out.
This is very personal but i've been so close with all of you guys that I feel comfortable sharing my life with you all.

For the people that don't know me...I've been going back and forth with my ex by her hurting me back and forth plus i've ended up going out with other women and have always asked for advice.
Recently i did goto dubai and got with another girl who to me was the dream girl i've always wanted.
There was nothing wrong with her and she's the best girl i've ever got to know my whole life.

But it was a long distance relationship and since i'm an A**hol* and selfish my se**ual needs came in and it was getting hard to be with her... and also that i totally wasnt over my first ex who was my first gf ever...infact my only gf before the current one.
well to sum things up...i pushed the current one away and ended up getting back with my ex an dsleepin with her... yes..HOW THE F*** i did that..idk...i guess i jumped on impulses and didnt use my intelects.

My ex was also in love with another guty so i pushed her away and helped her be with this other guy and they got back...sinc eit did make her happy and thats all i wanted from my ex whether shes with or without me.
Then i broke it to the current girl and pretty much shattered her heart and life.
I went against my beliefs...culture...values and my self by doing what i did and no wi broke apart a girls heart who never did anything wrong.
I did the exact same thing my ex kept doing to me over and over....
ANd the current one i broke up with she said thanks for ruining my life and i hope you rproud of it and enjoy your life with yhour ex. ITS OVER!

I don't believe i need advice cos i know i'm F***D up now.
I guess i need time to myself and be alone for a while to figure out who i am again and clean myself out....create myself again since im so effin lost right now.
I just lost 2 women that i loved or maybe still do and may realize this too late.
Cos now the current ones hearts broken and she will prob never speak to me and my ex is back with the other guy cos i helped her out and i knew it will be easier for them to be toegether for futures sake.
I keep tryin to make ppl happy and maybe by being alone i'll figure out what i really want that will make me happy.

I hope i havn't wasted any of your guy's time and i would love support but if you've lost respect for me i will understand cos its something i deserve.

Thanks for reading.

-Qasim. H

 

[saltynay]

You have dual cases of oneitis that can be bad. All I can say is don't put people on pedastools, Don't regret your actions as you can't change them now and get back on the horse and get on with life.

 

[Spit-wad]

Sounds harsh... I feel for you.

If it was meant to be, it'll work itself out, otherwise you'll find someone else and realize that the other two were nothing compared to her.

Can't give you that much advise, though... haven't been in anything close to that situation myself,
so... pics?

 

[Oreo]

You screwed up by messing with that girl, yes, but then you helped someone you really liked into a relationship that was great for her, even though you liked her, that's admirable.

Karma says you're equal. Don't give up, and go find someone else - there is always someone else.

 

[HAVOC]

Man if I had a dollar for every rocky relationship I've been in, I'd be wealthy.

I've been cheated on, I've cheated, I've been lied to, I've lied. I've been in some three-way triangles that would make your head spin. I've been married and divorced.

Dude, relationships aren't all easy. Relationships are never perfect. Don't beat yourself up over your situation. Look at all of your relationships individually. Put all the good memories / experiences on one side, think about them. Then put all the bad memories / experiences on the other side, think about them. I'm sure you'll realize that each relationship has a bit of both.

I've waited a very long time to find my current "GF". Right now... She's definitely the girl of my dreams. She's all I could ever need. I can't imagine being without her. She treats me like a king and I do my best to keep her my queen. We rarely fight or have anything to disagree about. We seem like we are meant for each other. (Experience reminds me that what I just said, can change with the drop of a hat. You never really know...)

 

[Harper]

Just put tit down to experience and don't make the same mistake again.

 

[krazyq]

welli know she'll take me back if i realize i want to be with her.
I do believe i understand why i went astray...
the long distance took a toll i got horny and still had emotions with my ex and she stil l had them with me so it sparked.
But now i need to use my head and believe that my ex is no more...especially now thats she's with someone and shes happy...and im really happy for her and want them to work out.

And i do know that in the future if i figure out what i want....like if im ready to get back with a girl or marry someone...the first person that would come to mind is Sumana(the girl i cheated on) because i know theres no other girl out there thats better or can even come close to her . SHes more than just an angel..her heart is just way too pure.
And i guess im gonna let my emotions aside and think from my head of wat i want.

This is the msg i sent her last

The reason i'm msg'ing you is cos i wanna clear things up and i'll get to the point.
I ****ed up and i hurt you and maybe ****ed up your life forever.

But i also do know that i have problems that make me jump from decision from decision and then end up regretting them...i never take time to think about things...i just do it...sometimes i do it because i know it will make the other person happy...when i forget that i need to satisfy myself.

i will agree that this long distance was part of the reason of me going astray...the emotions faded and i started loosing interest...not because you did anything wrong ...just because im selfish and stupid and think and ran from emotions and never used my head.

But what i do know for a fact is that my emotions were still left over with my ex and now that she's finally with someone and i know shes happy i can finally set myself free from her and be happy for her and know that this is the end...No matter what.

And that in the future when my head clears up and i know what i want....
like if i realised that i wanted to get back in a relationship again...the only person i would try getting ahold of would be you....and this is true sumana.
I've known a lot of women...couples...married or not and i've also helped relationships out and i work with women pretty much all the time..and all ages
And from my head i do know that there's no woman thats out there thats better than who you are and that would be able to make me as happy as you can....(except for my mom and sisters) And this i know for a fact.
But what i'm gonna do for now or for this week untill i get done with my trip is that im gonna think and concentrate on us and decide whats best for me and you...Because i do know that your the only woman i'll want once i realise im ready....i've lost desires for anyone...
So thats what im gonna concentrate on and instead of jumping on conclusions like i have my whole life i will actually use my head for a week to figure it out and then i'll let you know...and my final thing that i have to ask you is that.
Once i realize after being alone and my emotions are cleared up aand that i'm ready to be with you.....would you ever be able to accept me again in your life ....to rebuild everything from scratch and create a new foundation and also be able to forgive me someday?...would you and could you?

Thats all i have to say for now until i've thought strongly about this for the next few days.

And this was her reply

i need some time to think about this...we prob might get back but then what huh? u get sick of me again? and u cheat on me again?
Ive been hurt enough...but right now...i need sometime to myself...
remember what u told me once....never do something you dont want the other person doing to you...
Put yourself in my shoes Qasim Haji...If you ever loved me...How would you feel if i did the same to you...Wait...you might not even know...because you had someone else in your head all along while i was dying out here for a guy i didnt even know never loved me back...
Lemme know what u wanna do and ill let you know what i wanna do...i have some thinking to do as well...

Take care
Sumana Jetha

 

[krazyq]

And since someone asked here are pics of me and the girl's heart i just broke

 

[TheOtis]

First off, it's nice seeing ya on here again dude!

Secondly, I know exactly what you mean. I became the guy I swore I would never become. I think almost all of us guys have been there.

You're a young good lookin dude, you have your whole life to find a female and procreate. I'm in a relationship, we've been together for FOUR years now, I'm 21 and she's 20. We've had our ups and downs, break ups, me being a **** to her, other females, etc, etc. But we're still together because I love her and she's all I want. If it wasn't for both of us being so happy and being together this long, I would be single for a long time. You're not too late on anything. Their are TONS of females out there. Unless you're WAY into a chick, stay single and don't take any relationship too seriously this young. Chances are it's not going to work out in the end anyway, people grow up and grow apart. Take time to figure yourself out and find out what you want. Worry about you, no one else. Now's the time in your life to be selfish.

A big +1 on what Oreo said.

EDIT: I ment to add, completely forget about any relationship with that girl. Even if everything with you two got better, what happened is ALWAYS going to be there and will effect you guys in the future. Not to sound doom and gloom, just being real about it.

 

[krazyq]

First off, it's nice seeing ya on here again dude!

Secondly, I know exactly what you mean. I became the guy I swore I would never become. I think almost all of us guys have been there.

You're a young good lookin dude, you have your whole life to find a female and procreate. I'm in a relationship, we've been together for FOUR years now, I'm 21 and she's 20. We've had our ups and downs, break ups, me being a **** to her, other females, etc, etc. But we're still together because I love her and she's all I want. If it wasn't for both of us being so happy and being together this long, I would be single for a long time. You're not too late on anything. Their are TONS of females out there. Unless you're WAY into a chick, stay single and don't take any relationship too seriously this young. Chances are it's not going to work out in the end anyway, people grow up and grow apart. Take time to figure yourself out and find out what you want. Worry about you, no one else. Now's the time in your life to be selfish.

A big +1 on what Oreo said.

EDIT: I ment to add, completely forget about any relationship with that girl. Even if everything with you two got better, what happened is ALWAYS going to be there and will effect you guys in the future. Not to sound doom and gloom, just being real about it.

thanks for that .
Glad you and your woman are working out and i wish you two the best.
i do know theres many other women out there but for now tbh , i've lost desires to look or be anyone.
If i gain the desire ever again...it will be of the girls heart i broke (the one in the pics)
I have known a lot of women...i work with women and deal with them for 4 days straight in a row so i really do know a lot of women and how they are...from and not from my culture and religion and i dont believe but i do know that this girl is the one that will light things up in my future but for now i just wanna be alone and away and im not raedy to be with anyone and once i am it will be her and no one else.
I havnt been alone for a while..always went from girl to girl after my ex even though i never did stuff with those women...but now
i just wanna stay away...in fact i've lost desires to get to know women...i just wanna be with friends and family and see the world and experience new things in life but once im ready...it will be this girl since i know theres no one better...not even close.

But for now i wanna think things through and your right...i need to be selfish and make decisions that iwll make me happy and my bro said the exact same things u said in those exact same words as well so i guess you guys are right.

Thanks so much man...really!

You screwed up by messing with that girl, yes, but then you helped someone you really liked into a relationship that was great for her, even though you liked her, that's admirable.

Karma says you're equal. Don't give up, and go find someone else - there is always someone else.

thanks oreo...that makes me feel a little bit better but you are right.