The Joke Thread: - Page 2 - Techist - Tech Forum

Go Back   Techist - Tech Forum > Member's Area > Off Topic Discussion
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 09-23-2014, 09:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
Private Joker
 
carnageX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 24,530
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

Quote:
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
DEC 25 meaning decimal 25 (or regular counting numbers) is equal to 31 in octal. Octal is a number system, like hex, binary, etc.

Oct 31 is also the calendar abbreviation for October 31st, i.e. Halloween. And Dec 25 = December 25th, i.e. Christmas.

Quote:
99 little bugs in the code,
99 little bugs...
Take one down, patch it around...
117 little bugs in the code..
Just a little joke about having to fix bugs in code. Sometimes when you fix one bug, you introduce more bugs (hence the jump from 99 to 117).
__________________

__________________
Laptop: MSI GT70 2OC-059us | i7-4700MQ | 16GB | GTX 770m | 500GB SSD / 750GB HDD | 17.3" | Win10 Pro
Desktop: 4690k | 12GB g.Skill RipJaws | GTX 970 | 520hx | Z87X-UD4H | Corsair Vengeance C70 | Corsair H110 | Acer 25" | Acer 22" | Win10
Mobile: Samsung Galaxy Note 5


If I help you, or you just like what I said, rep me by clicking the under my post
carnageX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2014, 12:06 PM   #12 (permalink)
Wizard Techie
 
Druid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,065
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.
__________________

__________________
CPU: Intel Core i7 920
GPU: ASUS STRIX GTX 970
Ram: 12GB 1600 Mhz DDR3
Mobo: ASUS P6T
PSU: 750W PC Power & Cooling
Druid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2014, 09:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
The Residential Loon
 
Spud1200's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: England, UK
Posts: 2,151
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

Quote:
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.
I've got to admit I actually enjoyed reading that and found it quite funny.

@Carnage, You got any more nerd Jokes. I found them quite interesting. NERD..
Spud1200 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2014, 02:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
Wizard Techie
 
Druid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,065
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spud1200 View Post
I've got to admit I actually enjoyed reading that and found it quite funny.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
__________________
CPU: Intel Core i7 920
GPU: ASUS STRIX GTX 970
Ram: 12GB 1600 Mhz DDR3
Mobo: ASUS P6T
PSU: 750W PC Power & Cooling
Druid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2014, 03:41 AM   #15 (permalink)
Build Guru
 
PP Mguire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 28,599
Default Re: The Joke Thread:


__________________
"Resolution is just a number." #Ubisoft
Origin/Steam = PP_Mguire Twitch = pp_mguire Instagram = ppmguire PSN = PP_Mguire

Access to my Plex PM me.
PP Mguire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2014, 10:02 AM   #16 (permalink)
Wizard Techie
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,101
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?"
The second hunter says," I don't know. Let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here. Give me a hand. We'll throw it in and see".
So they pick it up, carry it over, count one, two, three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge when they hear rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. "Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!"
The old farmer said, "That's impossible. I had him chained to a transmission!"
Joe C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2014, 04:04 PM   #17 (permalink)
Private Joker
 
carnageX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 24,530
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"
A short time later, the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?!"
He replied, "They had eggs."
__________________
Laptop: MSI GT70 2OC-059us | i7-4700MQ | 16GB | GTX 770m | 500GB SSD / 750GB HDD | 17.3" | Win10 Pro
Desktop: 4690k | 12GB g.Skill RipJaws | GTX 970 | 520hx | Z87X-UD4H | Corsair Vengeance C70 | Corsair H110 | Acer 25" | Acer 22" | Win10
Mobile: Samsung Galaxy Note 5


If I help you, or you just like what I said, rep me by clicking the under my post
carnageX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2014, 06:04 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
iFargle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 4,054
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

^ Probably my favorite programming joke
__________________
7700k 32GB RAM 512GB 960 Pro GTX 1080 NCase M1
15" Retina MBP || 64GB Nexus 6P || 64GB iPad Air 2
Battle.net: iFargle #1561 || Steam/Origin: iFargle
iFargle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2014, 02:26 PM   #19 (permalink)
The Residential Loon
 
Spud1200's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: England, UK
Posts: 2,151
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

Hears a Joke I come across.

The Past, the present and the future walked into a Bar. It was tense.

Actually found that pretty funny.
Spud1200 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2014, 10:49 PM   #20 (permalink)
Wizard Techie
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,101
Default Re: The Joke Thread:

A bear and a rabbit are in the woods taking a sh*t and the bear leans over and asks the rabbit if he's ever had a problem with sh*t sticking to his fur. The rabbit says no, sh*t doesn't stick to his fur...... the bear says good, grabs the rabbit and wipes his a**
__________________

Joe C is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Offical joke thread..... WS, but hope no 1 is offended Jeeper Off Topic Discussion 97 02-10-2007 04:18 PM
¤ New Joke Thread ¤ ADZ Off Topic Discussion 229 01-10-2007 09:15 AM
.:New Joke Thread:. Erstad Off Topic Discussion 69 08-25-2004 02:48 PM
Joke Thread Ecniv Off Topic Discussion 8 01-02-2003 11:22 AM



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:00 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.