I was on Wikipedia, and I found these. Thought they were rather humurous, and would be useful to make fun of your buddies' car.
Audi - Accelerates Under Demonic Influence; Automatic Unexpected Death Initiator
Buick - Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Chevrolet - Can Hear Every Valve Rattling On Long Extended
Trips; Can't Hear Excessive Valve Rap Over Lousy Engine Timing
Chevy - Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet, Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
Chrysler - Charged High Retail, You'll Subsidise Lee's Early Retirement
DeLorean - Don't Ever Lend One Rich Easterner Any Narcotics
Dodge - Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere; Dead Or Dying Gutless Engines
Ford - Ferro Oxide Rust Damage; Found On Rubbish Dump; Found On Road Dead; Fix Or Repair Daily (or Figure On Repairing Daily); Fast Only Rolling Downhill; For Old Retired Drivers; ****er Only Runs Downhill
Holden - Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents and Engine Noises
Honda - Had One, Never Did Again
Hyundai - Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive, Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Jeep - Just Empty Every Pocket; Junk, Each and Every Part; Just Enough Engine Power
Kia - Killed in Action
Lada - Left At Dump, Abandoned
Lotus - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
Neon - Nothing Especially Original Now, New Engine Often Needed
Mazda (Hiroshima's revenge) - Made At Zoo (by) Demented Apes
Mopar - Mostly Old Parts And Rust, My Ol' Plymouth Ain't Runnin'
Olds - Old Lady Driving Slowly, Old Lady Driving Slowly Making
Others Behind Infernally Late Everyday
Pinto - Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
Plymouth - Please Let Your Mama Out Under The Hood
Pontiac - Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's a Cadillac ("Ninny" can be replaced by "negro", the more offensive term nigger, or "nutjob" or "native".)
Repco - Rip Every Poor Cunt Off
Subaru - Still Usable But All Rusted Underneath
Toyota - Too Often Yanks Overprice This Automobile; Taking Our Yen Out - Thanks America!
UAP / NAPA - Useless Auto Parts / Not A Part Available
Yugo - You'll Usually Get Out
(MODS: I tried to edit it, but if I edited it too much, it would take the hilarity away. If you think you could edit it whilst keeping it funny, please do so.)
Audi - Accelerates Under Demonic Influence; Automatic Unexpected Death Initiator
Buick - Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Chevrolet - Can Hear Every Valve Rattling On Long Extended
Trips; Can't Hear Excessive Valve Rap Over Lousy Engine Timing
Chevy - Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet, Cheap Heap Eats Valves Yearly
Chrysler - Charged High Retail, You'll Subsidise Lee's Early Retirement
DeLorean - Don't Ever Lend One Rich Easterner Any Narcotics
Dodge - Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere; Dead Or Dying Gutless Engines
Ford - Ferro Oxide Rust Damage; Found On Rubbish Dump; Found On Road Dead; Fix Or Repair Daily (or Figure On Repairing Daily); Fast Only Rolling Downhill; For Old Retired Drivers; ****er Only Runs Downhill
Holden - Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents and Engine Noises
Honda - Had One, Never Did Again
Hyundai - Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive, Here's Y U Never Drive An Import
Jeep - Just Empty Every Pocket; Junk, Each and Every Part; Just Enough Engine Power
Kia - Killed in Action
Lada - Left At Dump, Abandoned
Lotus - Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
Neon - Nothing Especially Original Now, New Engine Often Needed
Mazda (Hiroshima's revenge) - Made At Zoo (by) Demented Apes
Mopar - Mostly Old Parts And Rust, My Ol' Plymouth Ain't Runnin'
Olds - Old Lady Driving Slowly, Old Lady Driving Slowly Making
Others Behind Infernally Late Everyday
Pinto - Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
Plymouth - Please Let Your Mama Out Under The Hood
Pontiac - Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's a Cadillac ("Ninny" can be replaced by "negro", the more offensive term nigger, or "nutjob" or "native".)
Repco - Rip Every Poor Cunt Off
Subaru - Still Usable But All Rusted Underneath
Toyota - Too Often Yanks Overprice This Automobile; Taking Our Yen Out - Thanks America!
UAP / NAPA - Useless Auto Parts / Not A Part Available
Yugo - You'll Usually Get Out
(MODS: I tried to edit it, but if I edited it too much, it would take the hilarity away. If you think you could edit it whilst keeping it funny, please do so.)
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