Ya, and I lost a family member in that little bit of BS
easiest, (safest) way is to go get some bulk gun powder. you can probably get black gun powder with less hassel, they sell it in pellets.
DO NOT go about cutting up shotgun shells, as its extremely dangerous and you are wasting good shells.
Black gun powder burns slower than the stuff you would get out of the shells. You can buy that in bulk, but again without proper knowledge, you would kill yourself. I would suggest looking for pyrodex pellets. start small. that would be the stuff you could put a fuse to and lite. You have to buy fuses, you can make them (easily)
And for gods sake, dont go emo and kill yourself